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PETEY WHEATSTRAW, THE DEVIL'S SON-IN-LAW - 3 Slimes
Rated R
Copyright 1977 Generation International Pictures
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Petey Wheatstraw - Rudy Ray Moore! A comedian/kung fu master (God bless Rudy Ray Moore.) who agrees to marry the Devil's daughter.
  • Nell - Secretary and bedmate to Petey.
  • Leroy and Skillet - Twin idiots who had a falling out with Petey some time ago, killed by mobsters after their club goes bust.
  • Jimmy - Petey's manager.
  • Larry and Ted - Brothers who work for Petey, unfortunately Larry (Who is twelve or so.) is gunned down by Scarface Willie.
  • Bantu - Old and wise man who taught Petey the secrets of kung fu.
  • Scarface Willie - Evil hoodlum responsible for much of Petey's grief, actually loses control of his bowels at one point. Commits hara-kiri.
  • The Devil's Daughter - Evidently an incredibly ugly woman who wants to marry Petey. We never get a very good look at her, so that is something to be thankful for.
  • Lucifer - Sophisticated little guy who sprouts prodigious facial hair when angry.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

Ludicrous and Rudy Ray Moore's films go hand in hand, but this one pushes the envelope. Petey was a handful within moments of his birth, this is assisted by the fact that he looks like your average third grader. He learns the ancient arts from a kindly old man, but his real desire is to be a comedian and that path leads to turmoil. Leroy and company have borrowed a large sum of cash from mobsters to start a new club, when Petey plans a show conflicting with their opening night things get ugly. In this case ugly means Willie spraying bullets into Petey and everyone close by. Here is where Satan enters the picture, the sultan of sulfur will erase the massacre if Petey agrees to marry his daughter. (Evidently the young lady ran through the Garden of Eden and hit the legendary ugly tree, then it must have fallen on her too.) Petey knows beauty is more than skin deep, so he agrees and starts cooking up a plan to trick the Devil and avoid being wed to the hag. I almost fell out of my seat the first time a bunch of guys wearing leotards, red capes, and horns attacked the comedian. Only by using Lucifer's cane does Petey escape, until the twist ending finally gets him. The fight scenes are terrible, the fashions are really terrible (It's the 70's, what did you expect?), but when Satan throws a bachelor party it is one hell of a time.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • There are some very good reasons that a human's gestation period is not ten years.
  • Romance without finance is a damn nuisance.
  • The Devil's first name is Lou.
  • You don't want to be in the same room as some guy who has defecated in his pants.
  • The Devil has a special hotline.
  • Wandering around a cemetery, which might have open graves, is not recommended if you are drunk.
  • Street tuffs will commit ritual suicide if they are defeated in battle.
  • Boundless power is best used to save obese people from lawn chairs.
  • Satan has a bright red jogging suit.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 23 mins - Dis scene sho' ain't PC...
  • 33 mins - Let's just run that in reverse.
  • 39 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A RECORD PLAYER!
  • 49 mins - This woman singing has got to go, arrggghhhh!
  • 49 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A PICKUP TRUCK FULL OF WATERMELONS!
  • 56 mins - Not wearing a matching pair of bra and panties?
  • 57 mins - You know, I'm looking at this club and wondering if I heard correctly when they said it would seat two thousand people.
  • 78 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 79 mins - Sort of like a buffet, but with demonic hookers.
  • 88 mins - That ladder is a little too short... ...never mind, the wonders of editing.
  • 92 mins - Gumby is on fire!
  • Ending Credits - What the heck are "Marshall arts fighters?"

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note wheatstraw1.wav Doctor: "She's gonna have an elephant!"
Petey's Father: "Is you trying to say my wife screwed an elephant?"
Green Music Note wheatstraw2.wav Nell: "Now you know how powerful the Devil is, and if you cross him he's gonna be mad as hell!"
Green Music Note wheatstraw3.wav Petey: "This ho is so ugly she can scare a hungry bulldog off the back of a meat truck."
Green Music Note wheatstraw4.wav Lucifer: "I trusted you Petey Wheatstraw and you made a fool of me!"
Green Music NoteTheme Song Listen to a clip from the soundtrack.

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipwheatstraw1.mpg - 2.0m
There is no way to explain this scene.

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FROM THE BADMOVIES.ORG ARCHIVES
ImageThe Giant Claw - Slime drop

Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.

Lesson Learned:
  • Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.

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