XANADU
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| Rated PG
| | Copyright 1980 Universal Pictures
| | Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
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- Kira - Olivia Newton John! Muse and organic mood ring supreme, one moment she's glowing blue, then orange, etc.
- Sonny - Starving artist and nice guy, except he throws all his trash out the window.
- Danny - Gene Kelly! Rich man who is unhappy with life until deciding to build Xanadu.
- Simpson - Sonny's old boss, pretty much a run of the mill evil corporate overlord.
- The Other Starving Artists - Sonny's friends.
- Dancers - Also the daughters of Zeus, after noticing their ethnic diversity I'd say he gets around.
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What has Olivia Newton John, Gene Kelly, roller skates, lots of glowing blue people, quasi disco music, and never ends?
Exactly - Hell.
Living in this fairy tale torture chamber is Sonny, he is an artist with talent, at painting album covers at least. This is why Kira, daughter of Zeus and inspiration for fine art everywhere, decides he is the only one who can make Xanadu happen. With Danny providing venture capital of course. All of this nicely explains the decline of Greek civilization, Zeus and his siblings are spending their time opening roller skate dance clubs. Meanwhile the Greek population is burning goats at a furious pace hoping for a little help against these Roman fellows. ("Could we have another Alexander please, this disco thing you turned us on to is very nice, but now everyone else wants to kick our ass.") Did I mention the two lovers briefly change into a Don Bluth animation? Where's a bucket of dip when you need it...
This review is dedicated to Jenn Reinhart, recently my friend Todd and the young lady exchanged vows. Love works in odd ways, couldn't you have found a woman with less offensive social problems? (Jenn likes this movie.) Making body noises in crowded elevators maybe? |
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| Things I Learned From This Movie: | |
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- Artists are litterbugs.
- Most Skittles commercials were inspired by Olivia Newton John.
- Gene Kelly can play the clarinet.
- Mopeds are slower than roller skating women.
- Dubbing tap scenes was beyond 1980's technology.
- Gene Kelly does not look good in a pink pimp suit.
- Zeus can't tell time.
- If you use the same group of dancers over and over the one Asian girl is going to stand out.
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- 1 min - Let me guess, each time the changing craft orbits we get one title. Darn, I'm right...
- 5 mins - Where in the hell did we get dancing blue people from?
- 15 mins - How did Gene Kelly get to the pier so fast?
- 24 mins - Enough with the screwy dissolves.
- 37 mins - Maybe I'll get lucky and these two morons will skate into that huge fan.
- 49 mins - You got your 80's all over my 40's. Hey, your 40's are all over my 80's...
- 60 mins - That disturbed me.
- 73 mins - Dude, skate through the wall, it'll work! Do it! Yes, build up speed, go, go! What the heck, that worked? Gads I hate this film.
- 90 mins - Olivia Newton John is singing country, everything going black, mommy...
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| | Audio clips in wav format | SOUNDS | Starving actors speak out | |
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| File | Dialog |  | xanadu1.wav
| Sonny: "I run into this girl this morning. Never saw before in my life; she kisses me and disappears."
Danny: "What's so weird about that?"
| | xanadu2.wav
| Simpson: "If you start making changes, then other people start making changes, and before you know it you have a lot of people running around doing what they want to do. That's not a company."
| | xanadu3.wav
| Kira: "You're supposed to be an artist. Use your imagination."
Sonny: "Oh thanks a lot; I'm all out."
| | xanadu4.wav
| Kira: "I come from Mount Halycon. I'm the daughter of Zeus."
| | Theme Song | Listen to a clip from the soundtrack. | |
| | Click for a larger image | IMAGES | Scenes from the movie | |
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| | Watch a scene | VIDEO | MPEG video files | |
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 | xanadu1.mpg
- 1.9m
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| The movie starts with dancing blue people. I am saying my prayers and looking for some hard alcohol to dull the pain.
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| | Leave a comment | EXTRAS | Buy the movie | |
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