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BATMAN & ROBIN - 1 Slime
Rated PG-13
Copyright 1997 Warner Brothers.
Reviewed by Rob on 14 February 2001

The Characters:  

  • Batman - George Clooney! Alias Bruce Wayne, Batman is the chief superhero of this pathetic tribute to the Dark Knight. Played by Clooney, Wayne seems to have a strange genetic disorder which causes his head to sway back and forth every time he says something.
  • Robin - Chris O'Donnell! Alias Dick Grayson, Dick becomes a dick to Batman when he is seduced by Poison Ivy.
  • Mr. Freeze - Arnold Schwarzenegger! Alias Victor Fries, Arnold rips his name off a popular frozen desert following a freak accident which allows him to only survive within a subzero environment. He needs diamonds to maintain the power of his RoboCop suit.
  • Poison Ivy - Uma Thurman! Alias Pamela Isley, she becomes Poison Ivy following a freak accident with plant toxins. One kiss from her is literally the kiss of death. Ivy goes to extremes with her "save the rain forests" tactics, trying to create hybrids between plants and animals. Her acting is incredibly bad in this film - I can't believe this is the same girl from "Pulp Fiction."
  • Batgirl - Alicia Silverstone! Alias Barbara Gordon, she's the niece of Alfred Pennyworth (although I'm pretty sure that in the comics she's the daughter of Commissioner Gordon). Well, needless to say, she's still clueless and trying to pass the role off as a decent actress.
  • Bane - A convicted serial killer who is muscularly enhanced by some form of mutated steroids, Bane is truly all muscle and no brain, able to use simple words to express his agreement. He's a henchman to Poison Ivy.
  • Alfred Pennyworth - Michael Gough! Bruce Wayne's butler since childhood, he's unfortunately contracted a case of MacGregor's Syndrome.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

In 1995, Joel Schumacher directed "Batman Forever," an action-packed movie which had surprisingly good drama to go with it. Years later, he produces this piece of guano which only seems to serve to insult everyone's intelligence.

Following the defeat of both Two-Face and the Riddler, Batman and Robin go out to face a new threat to Gotham City, Mr. Freeze. Freeze escapes, after which Pamela Isley becomes Poison Ivy in a South American rain forest. Traveling back to Gotham with Bane, her new favorite beefcake bodyguard, she teams up with Freeze to wreak some havoc.

In the meantime, Alfred's niece Barbara comes to Gotham to visit, where she eventually becomes Batgirl. Mr. Freeze's life of crime is a vehicle to fund research to find a cure for MacGregor's Syndrome which has befallen his wife, who has been cryogenically frozen until a cure can be found. Following Freeze's capture, he is set free by Poison Ivy and Bane. Later, Poison Ivy attempts to kill Freeze's wife, and blames the murder on Batman. Out of revenge, Mr. Freeze plans to freeze all of Gotham in ice, while Poison Ivy seeks to populate it with plant-animal hybrids she's created.

Great plot, isn't it? Needless to say, Batman, Robin, and Batgirl foil the attempt. Mr. Freeze becomes reformed after learning that his wife is still alive, and gives a cure to Batman for Alfred, who's "only in the less-advanced stages of MacGregor's Syndrome."

I can't believe I actually spent money on this movie when it came out in theaters.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Superheroes and supervillains make cartoon noises when they fight each other.
  • Getting frozen sucks.
  • Superweapons which freeze everything they are fired at are very adhesive and will stick to anything.
  • Prep school girls like to go out late at night and race motorcycles against gang-bangers to win cash.
  • Titanium-reinforced door + 10,000 ft. = Sky-surfing!
  • Supervillains like watching Claymation Christmas specials.
  • Never kiss a girl who is dressed like Robin Goodfellow and has hair which makes her look like Princess Leia on crack.
  • Cryogenically-frozen people like to wear jewelry.
  • Limo drivers are often seen wearing wrestler masks.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 5 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A BRONTOSAUR MODEL!
  • 10 mins - Sky-surfin' USA!
  • 20 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST AN ENVIRONMENTAL ACTIVIST!
  • 25 mins - Now why couldn't Uma Thurman wear that outfit throughout the entire movie?
  • 35 mins - This thing Robin has over Poison Ivy is getting really annoying.
  • 40 mins - Uh-oh! Nora Fries is all out of bubbles!
  • 45 mins - That snake-plant-thing looks really fake.
  • 60 mins - Batgirl has some nice bat-buns.
  • 70 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST POISON IVY!
  • 20 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A SUPER-TELESCOPE!
  • 90 mins - Oh, dramatic effect! Here dramatic effect! Where are you?

Quotes: 

  • Robin: "I mean that's your idea of friendship, isn't it Bruce? It's your house, your rules...I mean, it's your way or the highway! It's 'Batman & Robin,' not 'Robin & Batman' and I'm sick of it!"

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note batmanrobin1.wav Robin: "I want a car. Chicks dig the car!"
Batman: "This is why Superman works alone."
Green Music Note batmanrobin2.wav Freeze: "Mercy? I'm afraid that my condition has left me cold to your pleas of mercy."
Green Music Note batmanrobin3.wav Pamela Isley and Bruce Wayne having a conversation about mad scientists.
Green Music Note batmanrobin4.wav Poison Ivy: "There's something about an anatomically correct rubber suit that puts fire in a girl's lips."

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipbatmanrobin1.mpg - 2.8m
Mr. Freeze is putting a hurting on Dunkin Donuts' profit margin until Batman arrives. You have to wonder, would Arnold honestly look that frightened - even if he did know it was Batman?

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Comments:Write CommentPages: [1] 2 3 4
Batman & Robin
Reply #1. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:03 PM by m_dude
this is one of, no, the worst Joel Shumacher film ever! This lame follow-up to one of the best batman films of all time is so stupid. The film industry is killing batman. This was so bad, yet, batman is the subject of three films that may or may not be made! Batman vs. Superman, Batman: Year one, and Batman Beyond. They also want to make a remake of Superman and a Wonderwoman film.

DC characters are dead in movies now. This is the Marvel Comics generation with Spider Man, The Hulk, and X-Men.
Batman & Robin
Reply #2. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Stupid Jacob
Hooray!!!! B&R is finally on this site! Thank god. This "movie" was made for this site.
Batman & Robin
Reply #3. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Squishy
Urrrrrrh! Make bad hurt in head! Squishy SMASH!

Of all the characters here that got murdered by that nipplehead Schumacher, Bane got it worst. He's originally an intelligent, crafty killer who actually beat the crap out of Bats, then snapped his back like a twig. (It's a comic book, he got better. Superman and Wonder Woman have been dead two or three times each since then.)

"Decathalon-winning research scientist?" Oh my ass.

My God, how many times have you seen the low-budget Saturday-morning cartoon get it SO much better? Wayne, Dick, Babs, Pammy, Victor, Gordon, Alfred, Bane--all of them so much more well-written in the WB/Cartoon Network toons, this movie makes me cry. Urrrrrr...

Schumacher, you suck.
Batman & Robin
Reply #4. Posted on February 15, 2001, 09:10:26 AM by Paul Westbrook
Not at all, the best Batman, but still manages to retain some entertainment value. Best part is just looking at Alicia. Arnold as Mr. Freeze? Pleeze!
Batman & Robin
Reply #5. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by The Bard
I don't know how Rob missed this part. But at one point when Batman is fighting Poision Ivy, Robin is being drowned by some plants. He struggles to free himself,then we get to see the same struggle in reverse as the plants "pull him back down" We see the same scene again of him getting out, then they cut to him throwing all the vines off.
Batman & Robin
Reply #6. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Rob
To the Bard:  LOL!  I don't know how I missed that part either!  Good call!
Batman & Robin
Reply #7. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Stefan Robak
Check out the animated series.  It is incredibly well written and just plain better than this chunk of dirt.  (Plugging myself alert (if this bothers you, Andrew, feel free to take it off)  Also, check out my website "the B-Hive" on the other links page.
Batman & Robin
Reply #8. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Smatthew
I can't believe I wasted 2 hours of my life watching this piece of crap.  I could have done something else, like stare into oblivion, or count grass blades.  The plot was as deep as a kiddie pool, and it just plain sucked.  Even the fact that Alicia Silverstone, who I think is dead hot, couldn't keep me from drifting to thoughts of cyanide pills to stop my suffering.  Personally, the cartoons were good, but you can't beat the original.  Anti-Explosion Bat Spray.  They had some wierd stuff, but it still was good.
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