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BATMAN & ROBIN - 1 Slime
Rated PG-13
Copyright 1997 Warner Brothers.
Reviewed by Rob on 14 February 2001

The Characters:  

  • Batman - George Clooney! Alias Bruce Wayne, Batman is the chief superhero of this pathetic tribute to the Dark Knight. Played by Clooney, Wayne seems to have a strange genetic disorder which causes his head to sway back and forth every time he says something.
  • Robin - Chris O'Donnell! Alias Dick Grayson, Dick becomes a dick to Batman when he is seduced by Poison Ivy.
  • Mr. Freeze - Arnold Schwarzenegger! Alias Victor Fries, Arnold rips his name off a popular frozen desert following a freak accident which allows him to only survive within a subzero environment. He needs diamonds to maintain the power of his RoboCop suit.
  • Poison Ivy - Uma Thurman! Alias Pamela Isley, she becomes Poison Ivy following a freak accident with plant toxins. One kiss from her is literally the kiss of death. Ivy goes to extremes with her "save the rain forests" tactics, trying to create hybrids between plants and animals. Her acting is incredibly bad in this film - I can't believe this is the same girl from "Pulp Fiction."
  • Batgirl - Alicia Silverstone! Alias Barbara Gordon, she's the niece of Alfred Pennyworth (although I'm pretty sure that in the comics she's the daughter of Commissioner Gordon). Well, needless to say, she's still clueless and trying to pass the role off as a decent actress.
  • Bane - A convicted serial killer who is muscularly enhanced by some form of mutated steroids, Bane is truly all muscle and no brain, able to use simple words to express his agreement. He's a henchman to Poison Ivy.
  • Alfred Pennyworth - Michael Gough! Bruce Wayne's butler since childhood, he's unfortunately contracted a case of MacGregor's Syndrome.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

In 1995, Joel Schumacher directed "Batman Forever," an action-packed movie which had surprisingly good drama to go with it. Years later, he produces this piece of guano which only seems to serve to insult everyone's intelligence.

Following the defeat of both Two-Face and the Riddler, Batman and Robin go out to face a new threat to Gotham City, Mr. Freeze. Freeze escapes, after which Pamela Isley becomes Poison Ivy in a South American rain forest. Traveling back to Gotham with Bane, her new favorite beefcake bodyguard, she teams up with Freeze to wreak some havoc.

In the meantime, Alfred's niece Barbara comes to Gotham to visit, where she eventually becomes Batgirl. Mr. Freeze's life of crime is a vehicle to fund research to find a cure for MacGregor's Syndrome which has befallen his wife, who has been cryogenically frozen until a cure can be found. Following Freeze's capture, he is set free by Poison Ivy and Bane. Later, Poison Ivy attempts to kill Freeze's wife, and blames the murder on Batman. Out of revenge, Mr. Freeze plans to freeze all of Gotham in ice, while Poison Ivy seeks to populate it with plant-animal hybrids she's created.

Great plot, isn't it? Needless to say, Batman, Robin, and Batgirl foil the attempt. Mr. Freeze becomes reformed after learning that his wife is still alive, and gives a cure to Batman for Alfred, who's "only in the less-advanced stages of MacGregor's Syndrome."

I can't believe I actually spent money on this movie when it came out in theaters.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Superheroes and supervillains make cartoon noises when they fight each other.
  • Getting frozen sucks.
  • Superweapons which freeze everything they are fired at are very adhesive and will stick to anything.
  • Prep school girls like to go out late at night and race motorcycles against gang-bangers to win cash.
  • Titanium-reinforced door + 10,000 ft. = Sky-surfing!
  • Supervillains like watching Claymation Christmas specials.
  • Never kiss a girl who is dressed like Robin Goodfellow and has hair which makes her look like Princess Leia on crack.
  • Cryogenically-frozen people like to wear jewelry.
  • Limo drivers are often seen wearing wrestler masks.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 5 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A BRONTOSAUR MODEL!
  • 10 mins - Sky-surfin' USA!
  • 20 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST AN ENVIRONMENTAL ACTIVIST!
  • 25 mins - Now why couldn't Uma Thurman wear that outfit throughout the entire movie?
  • 35 mins - This thing Robin has over Poison Ivy is getting really annoying.
  • 40 mins - Uh-oh! Nora Fries is all out of bubbles!
  • 45 mins - That snake-plant-thing looks really fake.
  • 60 mins - Batgirl has some nice bat-buns.
  • 70 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST POISON IVY!
  • 20 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A SUPER-TELESCOPE!
  • 90 mins - Oh, dramatic effect! Here dramatic effect! Where are you?

Quotes: 

  • Robin: "I mean that's your idea of friendship, isn't it Bruce? It's your house, your rules...I mean, it's your way or the highway! It's 'Batman & Robin,' not 'Robin & Batman' and I'm sick of it!"

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note batmanrobin1.wav Robin: "I want a car. Chicks dig the car!"
Batman: "This is why Superman works alone."
Green Music Note batmanrobin2.wav Freeze: "Mercy? I'm afraid that my condition has left me cold to your pleas of mercy."
Green Music Note batmanrobin3.wav Pamela Isley and Bruce Wayne having a conversation about mad scientists.
Green Music Note batmanrobin4.wav Poison Ivy: "There's something about an anatomically correct rubber suit that puts fire in a girl's lips."

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipbatmanrobin1.mpg - 2.8m
Mr. Freeze is putting a hurting on Dunkin Donuts' profit margin until Batman arrives. You have to wonder, would Arnold honestly look that frightened - even if he did know it was Batman?

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 2 [3] 4 5
Batman & Robin
Reply #17. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Charles
I agree with a local comic book/RPG shop clerk that I had a conversation with at the time the movie came out in theaters;  The producers should have taken half the money they spent on special effects and used it to write a decent script.  It's such a shame, b/c Mr Freeze is one of my favorite villians, as it's so easy to sympathize with him.  Or it should be, but Arnold completely ruins the part, hamming it up when he should be serious.  Someone should have told him that this wasn't the old "Batman" TV show, because that's what the whole tone reminded me of.  No, come to think of it, that show was better than this movie.
Batman & Robin
Reply #18. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by
On the same level as "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles."
1/2 *
Batman & Robin
Reply #19. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Rob
Well, at least "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" was geared toward kids and could still be entertaining.  Yes, the movies left much to be desired, but they had their moments.  The only two things entertaining about "Batman & Robin" are how terrible and how inaccurate it is.  You know what I found out about Batgirl's role in the movie?  The filmmakers decided that Alicia Silverstone was considered too young to be the daughter of an actor of Pat Hingle's age, so they made her the daughter of Alfred Pennyworth's sister.  Um, how old is Michael Gough?
Batman & Robin
Reply #20. Posted on September 12, 2004, 02:24:48 PM by Elizabeth Foster
I love it is the best movie I cant explain how good it was I think im stupid Because I am
Batman & Robin
Reply #21. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Rick
I knew the movie was in trouble from the opening credits when Arnold got top billing over Clooney and O'Donnell. This could have been alot better if the "suits" at W.B. kept their hands off the script.
Batman & Robin
Reply #22. Posted on October 17, 2005, 04:25:59 PM by phil
Why!!! THE batman franchise was beaten to a pulp and died with this movie. and what is up with George Cloony? The old cartoon was better. i hope batman begins restarts the franchise, it was realy good.
Re: Batman & Robin
Reply #23. Posted on March 19, 2007, 07:50:12 PM by luecmic20
this is one of the dumbest movies i watched
Re: Batman & Robin
Reply #24. Posted on March 21, 2007, 11:32:59 AM by Mr. DS
You know what character got a huge shaft in this movie was Bane.  In the comic he literally broke Batman's back after strategically letting all of Gotham City's baddies out of the asylum.  In this film he just runs around and yells "grrrrrr".  Pure idiocy...hope the new Batman movies feature his storyline some day. 
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