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BATMAN & ROBIN - 1 Slime
Rated PG-13
Copyright 1997 Warner Brothers.
Reviewed by Rob on 14 February 2001

The Characters:  

  • Batman - George Clooney! Alias Bruce Wayne, Batman is the chief superhero of this pathetic tribute to the Dark Knight. Played by Clooney, Wayne seems to have a strange genetic disorder which causes his head to sway back and forth every time he says something.
  • Robin - Chris O'Donnell! Alias Dick Grayson, Dick becomes a dick to Batman when he is seduced by Poison Ivy.
  • Mr. Freeze - Arnold Schwarzenegger! Alias Victor Fries, Arnold rips his name off a popular frozen desert following a freak accident which allows him to only survive within a subzero environment. He needs diamonds to maintain the power of his RoboCop suit.
  • Poison Ivy - Uma Thurman! Alias Pamela Isley, she becomes Poison Ivy following a freak accident with plant toxins. One kiss from her is literally the kiss of death. Ivy goes to extremes with her "save the rain forests" tactics, trying to create hybrids between plants and animals. Her acting is incredibly bad in this film - I can't believe this is the same girl from "Pulp Fiction."
  • Batgirl - Alicia Silverstone! Alias Barbara Gordon, she's the niece of Alfred Pennyworth (although I'm pretty sure that in the comics she's the daughter of Commissioner Gordon). Well, needless to say, she's still clueless and trying to pass the role off as a decent actress.
  • Bane - A convicted serial killer who is muscularly enhanced by some form of mutated steroids, Bane is truly all muscle and no brain, able to use simple words to express his agreement. He's a henchman to Poison Ivy.
  • Alfred Pennyworth - Michael Gough! Bruce Wayne's butler since childhood, he's unfortunately contracted a case of MacGregor's Syndrome.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

In 1995, Joel Schumacher directed "Batman Forever," an action-packed movie which had surprisingly good drama to go with it. Years later, he produces this piece of guano which only seems to serve to insult everyone's intelligence.

Following the defeat of both Two-Face and the Riddler, Batman and Robin go out to face a new threat to Gotham City, Mr. Freeze. Freeze escapes, after which Pamela Isley becomes Poison Ivy in a South American rain forest. Traveling back to Gotham with Bane, her new favorite beefcake bodyguard, she teams up with Freeze to wreak some havoc.

In the meantime, Alfred's niece Barbara comes to Gotham to visit, where she eventually becomes Batgirl. Mr. Freeze's life of crime is a vehicle to fund research to find a cure for MacGregor's Syndrome which has befallen his wife, who has been cryogenically frozen until a cure can be found. Following Freeze's capture, he is set free by Poison Ivy and Bane. Later, Poison Ivy attempts to kill Freeze's wife, and blames the murder on Batman. Out of revenge, Mr. Freeze plans to freeze all of Gotham in ice, while Poison Ivy seeks to populate it with plant-animal hybrids she's created.

Great plot, isn't it? Needless to say, Batman, Robin, and Batgirl foil the attempt. Mr. Freeze becomes reformed after learning that his wife is still alive, and gives a cure to Batman for Alfred, who's "only in the less-advanced stages of MacGregor's Syndrome."

I can't believe I actually spent money on this movie when it came out in theaters.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Superheroes and supervillains make cartoon noises when they fight each other.
  • Getting frozen sucks.
  • Superweapons which freeze everything they are fired at are very adhesive and will stick to anything.
  • Prep school girls like to go out late at night and race motorcycles against gang-bangers to win cash.
  • Titanium-reinforced door + 10,000 ft. = Sky-surfing!
  • Supervillains like watching Claymation Christmas specials.
  • Never kiss a girl who is dressed like Robin Goodfellow and has hair which makes her look like Princess Leia on crack.
  • Cryogenically-frozen people like to wear jewelry.
  • Limo drivers are often seen wearing wrestler masks.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 5 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A BRONTOSAUR MODEL!
  • 10 mins - Sky-surfin' USA!
  • 20 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST AN ENVIRONMENTAL ACTIVIST!
  • 25 mins - Now why couldn't Uma Thurman wear that outfit throughout the entire movie?
  • 35 mins - This thing Robin has over Poison Ivy is getting really annoying.
  • 40 mins - Uh-oh! Nora Fries is all out of bubbles!
  • 45 mins - That snake-plant-thing looks really fake.
  • 60 mins - Batgirl has some nice bat-buns.
  • 70 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST POISON IVY!
  • 20 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A SUPER-TELESCOPE!
  • 90 mins - Oh, dramatic effect! Here dramatic effect! Where are you?

Quotes: 

  • Robin: "I mean that's your idea of friendship, isn't it Bruce? It's your house, your rules...I mean, it's your way or the highway! It's 'Batman & Robin,' not 'Robin & Batman' and I'm sick of it!"

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note batmanrobin1.wav Robin: "I want a car. Chicks dig the car!"
Batman: "This is why Superman works alone."
Green Music Note batmanrobin2.wav Freeze: "Mercy? I'm afraid that my condition has left me cold to your pleas of mercy."
Green Music Note batmanrobin3.wav Pamela Isley and Bruce Wayne having a conversation about mad scientists.
Green Music Note batmanrobin4.wav Poison Ivy: "There's something about an anatomically correct rubber suit that puts fire in a girl's lips."

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

ImageImageImage
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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipbatmanrobin1.mpg - 2.8m
Mr. Freeze is putting a hurting on Dunkin Donuts' profit margin until Batman arrives. You have to wonder, would Arnold honestly look that frightened - even if he did know it was Batman?

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 2 3 [4] 5
Re: Batman & Robin
Reply #25. Posted on April 09, 2007, 03:39:05 PM by Fausto
First of all, whoever wrote this movie should have the #@^% #&#$@ beat out of him, then get #$@% and ##$#$$ with a little $%$@@% and take his $%$#$###. Second, Arnold may be the terminator, but he's no mr freeze, just as George Clooney is no Batman. As for Poison Ivy, yeah, great idea, lets take the world's hottest woman, give her no real dialogue to work with, and dress her up like a transvestite on speed? At the very least, they should have kept in the part with her killing Bruce's girlfriend (see the trivia section on imdb), that might have made it at least somewhat interesting (but probably not by enough).
Re: Batman & Robin
Reply #26. Posted on April 09, 2007, 10:26:53 PM by BlackAngel75
Ah, Batman & Robin...  What can I say that has already been said over and over again.  the Bat Nipples, The Bat Crotch, the over the top Batmobile, the Ice Capades henchmen, Bane (what an insult), Batgirl, the Master of One-liners--The Governator, oh the good times.  If, for some reason you're up late at night and got the tube on, avoid the TNT channel and maybe TBS.  And one more note: we all know that Alicia Silverstone playing Alfred's niece who is Batgirl was wrong!!!  But if that's what it's going to be, at least let everyone know that you ARE Alfred's niece (hint, hint).
Re: Batman & Robin
Reply #27. Posted on June 30, 2007, 02:02:05 PM by mrgb46
Worst in the Batman series..Clooney only got the role of Batman  because of his chin..The only thing missing from this movie was the BAMMMM!! and the WHOOSH!!,like in the tv series..This is kid's stuff compared to Batman Begins and the first Batman with Michael Keaton..This is too cartoonish and too silly..Uma and Alicia looked good though..Robin got too annoying and whiney...
Re: Batman & Robin
Reply #28. Posted on July 10, 2007, 06:54:55 PM by HarlotBug3
I am convinced that, much like Revenge of the Sith, if you look closely enough at the credits, you will see the director jerking off and shooting you the bird.

The film-makers in these instances were laughing then, and are laughing even harder now as we all line up to see ghostrider and spiderman.

They will be laughing again when the same thing happens for next batman movie, or the one after.

 
Re: Batman & Robin
Reply #29. Posted on July 10, 2007, 08:36:50 PM by Torgo
The only good thing that I can say about this movie is that (being an Uma fanatic) Uma Thurman looked absolutely fantastic in this movie.

While she had a bit more weight on her at this point, Alicia looked good as well.

But the rest of the movie is one of the worst movies that I've ever had the misfortune to watch. I saw this turd in the theater. 
Re: Batman & Robin
Reply #30. Posted on January 23, 2008, 06:30:16 PM by Tyler
I would normally think this deserves to be forgotten and denied of all existense *cough* *Rocky V*, but this movie displays the height of bad puns (Mr Freeze: Looks like i'm going to have to give you the cold shoulder!).  In the article there are many things to look out for that were missed, like the fact that they just hear about Mr. Freeze at the very beggining of the movie, yet their shoes come complete with ice skates that pop out.  I also learned that instead of directly fighting bad guys, the most affective way to get rid of them is to skate around and play a game of hockey with valuably museum articles with them.  Also, American Exress supplies superheroes with their own personal credit cards.
Re: Batman & Robin
Reply #31. Posted on January 24, 2011, 04:42:56 PM by TooManyCustomers

 Alright guys, lets not be too cruel.. this movie was meant to be a comedy all along. Schumacher went into this with... with... OH HELL Who am I trying to kid?!  This is one of the worst movies ever made! Even seeing this at the Dollar theater I felt like I was getting ripped off..

 The only thing that made it passable was that we were riffing the hell out of this thing the whole time.. It was a miracle of spontaneous ad-lib that we were able to do it consistently for the entire duration.. even when the rednecks started yelling at us to shut up, we still kept going..

 By the laughter rolling out of the aisles, I'd say we made it passable for everyone..  Bad Movie.. Good Times..

 oh yeah and I've heard that Clooney still to this day will reimburse people who ask for their money back..
Re: Batman & Robin
Reply #32. Posted on February 25, 2011, 01:15:26 AM by bob
This is one of the few films that took me over a day to finish. The last time I watched it I stopped it after 30 minutes. I like bad jokes and horrible puns as much as the next person but this movie is overkill.
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