|BATMAN & ROBIN
|Copyright 1997 Warner Brothers.
| Reviewed by Rob
on 14 February 2001
- Batman - George Clooney! Alias Bruce Wayne, Batman is the chief superhero of this pathetic tribute to the Dark Knight. Played by Clooney, Wayne seems to have a strange genetic disorder which causes his head to sway back and forth every time he says something.
- Robin - Chris O'Donnell! Alias Dick Grayson, Dick becomes a dick to Batman when he is seduced by Poison Ivy.
- Mr. Freeze - Arnold Schwarzenegger! Alias Victor Fries, Arnold rips his name off a popular frozen desert following a freak accident which allows him to only survive within a subzero environment. He needs diamonds to maintain the power of his RoboCop suit.
- Poison Ivy - Uma Thurman! Alias Pamela Isley, she becomes Poison Ivy following a freak accident with plant toxins. One kiss from her is literally the kiss of death. Ivy goes to extremes with her "save the rain forests" tactics, trying to create hybrids between plants and animals. Her acting is incredibly bad in this film - I can't believe this is the same girl from "Pulp Fiction."
- Batgirl - Alicia Silverstone! Alias Barbara Gordon, she's the niece of Alfred Pennyworth (although I'm pretty sure that in the comics she's the daughter of Commissioner Gordon). Well, needless to say, she's still clueless and trying to pass the role off as a decent actress.
- Bane - A convicted serial killer who is muscularly enhanced by some form of mutated steroids, Bane is truly all muscle and no brain, able to use simple words to express his agreement. He's a henchman to Poison Ivy.
- Alfred Pennyworth - Michael Gough! Bruce Wayne's butler since childhood, he's unfortunately contracted a case of MacGregor's Syndrome.
|In 1995, Joel Schumacher directed "Batman Forever," an action-packed movie which had surprisingly good drama to go with it. Years later, he produces this piece of guano which only seems to serve to insult everyone's intelligence.
Following the defeat of both Two-Face and the Riddler, Batman and Robin go out to face a new threat to Gotham City, Mr. Freeze. Freeze escapes, after which Pamela Isley becomes Poison Ivy in a South American rain forest. Traveling back to Gotham with Bane, her new favorite beefcake bodyguard, she teams up with Freeze to wreak some havoc.
In the meantime, Alfred's niece Barbara comes to Gotham to visit, where she eventually becomes Batgirl. Mr. Freeze's life of crime is a vehicle to fund research to find a cure for MacGregor's Syndrome which has befallen his wife, who has been cryogenically frozen until a cure can be found. Following Freeze's capture, he is set free by Poison Ivy and Bane. Later, Poison Ivy attempts to kill Freeze's wife, and blames the murder on Batman. Out of revenge, Mr. Freeze plans to freeze all of Gotham in ice, while Poison Ivy seeks to populate it with plant-animal hybrids she's created.
Great plot, isn't it? Needless to say, Batman, Robin, and Batgirl foil the attempt. Mr. Freeze becomes reformed after learning that his wife is still alive, and gives a cure to Batman for Alfred, who's "only in the less-advanced stages of MacGregor's Syndrome."
I can't believe I actually spent money on this movie when it came out in theaters.
|Things I Learned From This Movie:|| |
- Superheroes and supervillains make cartoon noises when they fight each other.
- Getting frozen sucks.
- Superweapons which freeze everything they are fired at are very adhesive and will stick to anything.
- Prep school girls like to go out late at night and race motorcycles against gang-bangers to win cash.
- Titanium-reinforced door + 10,000 ft. = Sky-surfing!
- Supervillains like watching Claymation Christmas specials.
- Never kiss a girl who is dressed like Robin Goodfellow and has hair which makes her look like Princess Leia on crack.
- Cryogenically-frozen people like to wear jewelry.
- Limo drivers are often seen wearing wrestler masks.
- 5 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A BRONTOSAUR MODEL!
- 10 mins - Sky-surfin' USA!
- 20 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST AN ENVIRONMENTAL ACTIVIST!
- 25 mins - Now why couldn't Uma Thurman wear that outfit throughout the entire movie?
- 35 mins - This thing Robin has over Poison Ivy is getting really annoying.
- 40 mins - Uh-oh! Nora Fries is all out of bubbles!
- 45 mins - That snake-plant-thing looks really fake.
- 60 mins - Batgirl has some nice bat-buns.
- 70 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST POISON IVY!
- 20 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A SUPER-TELESCOPE!
- 90 mins - Oh, dramatic effect! Here dramatic effect! Where are you?
- Robin: "I mean that's your idea of friendship, isn't it Bruce? It's your house, your rules...I mean, it's your way or the highway! It's 'Batman & Robin,' not 'Robin & Batman' and I'm sick of it!"
| ||Audio clips in wav format||SOUNDS||Starving actors speak out|| |
||Robin: "I want a car. Chicks dig the car!" |
Batman: "This is why Superman works alone."
||Freeze: "Mercy? I'm afraid that my condition has left me cold to your pleas of mercy."
||Pamela Isley and Bruce Wayne having a conversation about mad scientists.
||Poison Ivy: "There's something about an anatomically correct rubber suit that puts fire in a girl's lips."
| ||Click for a larger image||IMAGES||Scenes from the movie|| |
| ||Watch a scene||VIDEO||MPEG video files|| |
|Mr. Freeze is putting a hurting on Dunkin Donuts' profit margin until Batman arrives. You have to wonder, would Arnold honestly look that frightened - even if he did know it was Batman?
| ||Leave a comment||EXTRAS||Buy the movie|| |
|Batman & Robin
Reply #9. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Rob
Yes, "Batman: The Animated Series" is a very good show. I used to watch it every chance I got, especially when I was in high school. I don't think that the artwork is as good as it was when it originally came out, but it's still a great show. I can't believe they made a cartoon show which is better than this movie. I'd even rank the movie "Batman: Mask of the Phantasm" higher (much higher) than this flick. What the hell where these people thinking? Especially after Schumaker made "Batman Forever"? That one I enjoyed, but this one doesn't even come close!
Also, I'm sorry, but I hate the original series with Adam West and Burt Ward. I do like Milton Berle and Burgess Meredith, but not as the Joker and Penguin in the original "Batman" series. However, I'd rather watch that series than this movie. The highlight of this piece of crap was seeing Pamela Isley the first time she became Poison Ivy.
|Batman & Robin
Reply #10. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Dan Lucas
Even after watching Bane being reduced to a not-so-common thug, the ending point for me was when Batman and Robin are trying to out bid each other for a date with Poison Ivy. At the end Bats offers this ridiculous price and when Robin asks how he could offer so much Batman says he'll charge it....
Then he pulls out the bat card....
I wanted to hurt something...
I don't even want to get into where Robin and Batgirl defeat Bane... or the fact that Batgirl is really Commissioner Gorden daughter...
I mean at least get most of the story right if nothing else.
Of course I'm saying this while watching Street Fighter the Movie on Sci-Fi channel.... so it guess it can be worse.
|Batman & Robin
Reply #11. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Fletch
A comment and a question. Firstly any movie featuring Alicia Silverston in leathers, rubber and a schoolgirl out fit can't be all bad. Secondly can anyone tell me why the satellite dishes are emblazoned "US Army" with the army getting a special thanks in the closing credits?
|Batman & Robin
Reply #12. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by fisherfreak
This movie is a piece of Crap!! it's the worst of the series, along with the 3rd film. I recently got a chacne to watch the 3rd film again, it's been a while. And me myself being a huge Batman fan, Iv'e beed reading Batman comics for 12 years now, not to mention i' probably a whiz when it comes to this subject, But both Batman Forever and Batman& Robin is just not Batman, well atl least not the Bob Kane-comic-version. But more on the lines of the 1960's television show. Tell me, when the hell do u see batman smile...aghhh, never....he aint not goodie too shoes,. And his costume isn't some fashion statement, the point of his bat-like image, was to strike fear into the hearts of criminals. Not only that the movie presents him as a guy who just feels like going out and fighting crime. THe true character hated being Batman, bruce Wayne made a vow to his parents grave that he would avange their deaths..when he's batman he;'s miserable, he
s a freakin bad-ass. Joel s**t-maker doesn't seem to have a clue, what Batman is about, he basically looked back at Tim Burton's 2 wonderful Bat flicks, knowing that he couldn't equal them. So what he do he? He went back to the 1960's TV show. Thank God their starting the franchise over, whith a better director with a better image
|Batman & Robin
Reply #13. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by The Man from S.U.C.K.
"Holy piece of crap, Batman!... How the heck we got ourselves into this!?"
Joel Schumacher was truly succesful by crushing to death all and every single detail that made the two first "Batman" films great movies... Tim Burton did an amazing work by raising comic-book movies to the level of major films. But This!? Batman is not my favorite comic superhero, but has some great potential in several interesting characters... In "Forever" (Silly title... why they didn't named it just Batman III or something) Tommy Lee Jones's Two-Face was really a spit in my face, but Mr. Freeze... Who asked for him? Poison Ivy was a great character (IN THE COMIC-BOOK, NOT THIS "MOVIE") but i don't even like Uma Thurman. BANE! BANE!... FOR GOD'S SAKE! LOOKS LIKE BEEN WASTED AWAY FROM THE WORST POWER RANGER'S CHAPTER... And Alicia Silverstone is simply awful as FATGIRL (i used to dream with her by seeing her Aerosmith videos... now her way to fame has been definitively buried)...
GIVE MY MONEY BACK!!!
|Batman & Robin
Reply #14. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Daniel
I saw this when I was 9 years old with with my brother, sister and my parents. I loved Batman and Batman Returns, but I didn't like Batman Forever that much because I felt sick that day and I had a nightmare with a midget version of Two-Face and The Riddler coming in my room(the really freaky thing is that it seemed like it really happened). But this one? Nope. This is never going to be remembered as a great movie based on a comic book legend. Good thing I didn't pay for this in theaters but I do have to pay for my own movie tickets nowadays(I'm 13 years old as I type this). The first three are worth a rental but not this one. It just sucks. I feel sorry you had to pay your own good money to see this horrible film, Rob. Also check out the original Batman film called "Batman The Movie", which stars everyone from the old classic TV series. It isn't a masterpiece but it's hillaious like the old show was(even though they weren't meant to be). If you wan't to watch the original TV show again(or for the first time)then check out your local listings. By the way, it comes on the Sci-Fi channel and if you don't get it, then call your cable or satellite provider and say "GIVE ME THE SCI-FI CHANNEL OR I'LL SHOVE A GRENADE DOWN YOUR THROAT", or just say "please". Anyway, the only good thing about Batman and Robin is that you get to see Alicia Silverstone in a tight leather Batgirl outfit. Man, what a hottie.
|Batman & Robin
Reply #15. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Dano
I never saw this movie, but if the reviewer actually liked that garbage Batman Forever (the REASON I never saw Batman and Robin), and hated this, then this must be a REALLY awful movie.
The first movie was so awesome. Why can't Hollywood leave well enough alone?? (that's a rhetorical question - I know it's the money)
|Batman & Robin
Reply #16. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by lil miss insane hobo
Ahhh yes, this was a great movie...to make fun of. This is the worst Batman film I've ever seen! But at least a friend and I had fun wasting a saturday making fun of it! And we also discovered Batmans's superpower! He has the amazing ability to come up with puns when he is in life threatening danger! After all, I can't come up with puns in my average day life, but Batman, Robin, Mr. Freeze, and Poison Ivy are constantly rattling off the puns! Amazing!
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