BLOODY BIRTHDAY
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| Rated R (this movie is soooo un-PC)
| | Copyright 1981 Judica Productions
| | Reviewed by Mike Allan
on 'a long time ago' |
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 | Duke and Annie - Couple who are making out in the cemetery at the beginning of the film. Duke is hit with a shovel, Ann is strangled with some jump rope.
| | Debbie - Psycho girl with long blond hair. Charges the neighborhood boys money to peek through a hole in her room and spy on her sister.
| | Chris - Psycho boy who wears glasses and is an electronic genius.
| | Steven - Psycho boy with blond hair. Doesn't really say much in the film.
| | Timmy - Young neighborhood boy, owns Lassie (oops, wrong movie). First discovers that the three kids are up to no good.
| | Joyce - Timmy's older sister, works for the local paper and studies astrology.
| | Beverly - Debbie's older sister, like to dance around nude in her room. Debbie shoots an arrow through her head.
| | Sheriff Brody - Debbie and Joyce's father, smacked in the head with a baseball bat.
| | Mrs. Brody - Sheriff's wife. In serious denial about her younger daughter. Has a mental breakdown after her husband and Bev die.
| | Mrs. Davis - Bitchy teacher at the kids school. Gets shot in the head by Chris.
| | Mr. Hardy - Newspaper editor and Joyce's boss. He's in ONE scene and that's it. (Don't ask me why.)
| | Joyce's boyfriend - Also in only ONE scene. (Get the feeling the movie was desperate for cameos or something.)
| | Van couple - Teenagers who are making out in their van. Shot by Chris.
| | Debbie's boyfriend - Also in only ONE scene, makes out with Debbie, but, oddly, doesn't die.
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| Three children (Bev, Chris, and Steven) are born to separate parents during a solar eclipse, which, as any good astrologist knows, causes one to be born without a conscious. Ten years later as their mutual birthday approaches, the kids go on a killing spree, offing various people in town. When Timmy shows up yard just as they finish off Bev's dad, he gets put on their hit list, as does his sister after she discovers Mrs. Davis' corpse. A series of near-misses, completely unnecessary nude scenes (not that that's a BAD thing, mind you), and several dead people later, the kids trap Tim and Joyce in Beverly's house for the final showdown. Our heroes manage to lock Steven in a trunk and overpower Chris, but Beverly slips out a windows and her mother (conveniently returning at that moment from her hospital stay) takes Bev and they leave. In the end of the film, the boys are seen put in a car, presumably to be taken to juvenile court, and, elsewhere, Bev and her mother are at a gas station, going over their new names. As they leave, the camera pans over to reveal that even though Bev's name has changed, her nature has not.
Interesting note:
I could have SWORN I recognized Debbie, the little blonde psycho girl from somewhere, but I couldn't place her face. Well, I checked over at the IMDB and found out where I'd seen her before: she played one of the daughters of the rich family in the famous restaurant scene in The Blues Brothers. (You know, the family that Belushi leans over to and says, "How much for your women?") |
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| Things I Learned From This Movie: | |
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| Solar eclipses are always bad news for newborns.
| | In small towns, cemeteries are hot make-out spots for horny teenagers, especially open graves.
| | In the early 80s, kids could take out realistic-looking guns in school and the teachers would assume they were just toys.
| | Certain types of bullets exist that'll go right through a person's skull but are then unable to break the window said person was standing in front of.
| | Scorpios are real sluts.
| | Most of the cars in junkyards can be easily fixed and driven.
| | When you try and strangle someone with a water hose, it greatly decreases the water pressure.
| | Even psycho murdering ten-year-olds like to play "tag."
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| 2 mins - June 9, 1970, anyone want to verify for that an eclipse really did occur on that date? Ah, forget it...
| | 4 mins - Young love in the graveyard.
| | 5 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
| | 6 mins - Ah, an open grave, an even better place to make out...
| | 7 mins - They stole the music from Friday the 13th, I'm sure...
| | 11 mins - Gotta love this teacher.
| | 13 mins - "Ahhh, we'll get you later, you stingy little bitch..."
| | 14 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
| | 15 mins - Man, Deb's got a pretty good racket going...
| | 19 mins - "Batter up!"
| | 20 mins - Oh, I'm sure "Daddy fell." is going to explain all the dents in his cranium...
| | 25 mins - Joyce's dad sounds like he's using a voice box...
| | 31 mins - She's awfully calm considering the kid's pointing a gun at her.
| | 32 mins - Funny, that blood wasn't there half a minute ago...
| | 33 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A PSYCHO NERD!
| | 38 mins - Wow, these kids drive better than I do!
| | 40 mins - Boy, good thing the police were in the area.
| | 43 mins - "Well, I guess I've earned enough money from the boys, so, time to off my sister..."
| | 46 mins - More teens making out in a neighborhood with a killer on the loose.
| | 46 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
| | 63 mins - You're telling me Bev didn't bother to cover up the peep hole?
| | 65 mins - "Here, this will stop the bleeding."
| | 72 mins - Maybe they can say they were "just playing..."
| | 76 mins - How come the boys always have to do the major killing?
| | 78 mins - What is that, like, eight shots he's fired now without reloading?
| | 79 mins - Yeah, if a little kid was trying to kill me, I'd take a fish bowl and SPLASH HIM WITH WATER as opposed to bashing him over the head.
| | 80 mins - Hey, weren't all the windows locked?
| | 82 mins - "Now, get in the car, boys, and no more killing people!"
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"This is the first time all the girls have ganged up on me."
"Turn around, turn around!" (Chris, watching Bev dance naked through the peephole.)
"All her brains are in her bra."
"Saturn controls emotions and the way you treat people."
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| | Leave a comment | EXTRAS | Buy the movie | |
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| Bloody Birthday
Reply #1. Posted on November 25, 2006, 05:10:12 PM by Squishy
Director Ed Hunt also gave the world "The Brain" and the infamous "Starship Invasions," so one musn't expect much from this little boofchunk of a flick...
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Reply #2. Posted on November 25, 2006, 05:09:49 PM by Mike Allan
(re Squishy's comment)
Whoa.. really? That's kinda funky to think about cause Andrew (you know, the fella who runs this site) once did an interview with that guy. Oh wait, just double checked and he did the interview with the EFFECT'S guy, Kevin Danzy...
I guess if it had been the director and I had gotten to interview, I'd ask him about all those actors who only appeared in one scene and what was up that..
Plus, just for fun, I'd ask him if there was anyway that a film like this would be made today, even though I already know the answer to that.... (hehe)
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Reply #3. Posted on August 02, 2001, 04:41:02 AM by Jim Hepler
ACK! You forgot to mention a VERY early Dudikoff role in this one! Look for em
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Reply #4. Posted on November 25, 2006, 05:09:49 PM by Mike Allan
Just found out they released this on DVD. WHOA!!! Now, I gotta update from my VHS tape... Man, I'm behind times.... :)
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Reply #5. Posted on November 25, 2006, 05:09:49 PM by moviecollector
I bought this off Ebay, cause it sounded just cheesy & fun. Well, it was. It was more Suspenseful than Horror to me.
& the kids did a good job at being evil. That dance from Julie Brown wasn't bad either. ;)
I say, its worth renting & buying 4 your collection, if you like killer kid movies, especially ones from the 80's.
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| Re: Bloody Birthday
Reply #6. Posted on December 05, 2006, 10:28:51 PM by Kenny
This film was always weird for me, as my birthday is also June 9, 1970 Just glad to know there wasn't an eclipse  | | Pages: [1] | |
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Little girls will happily substitute a big, ugly toad for a doll. 