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THE GREEN SLIME - 2 Slimes
Rated G
Copyright 1968 Metro Goldwyn-Mayer.
Reviewed by Demian, Denyse Mercer, and Jode Carrasco on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Jack Rankin - Our hero, with an ego almost as big as his disturbingly shaped head. He does lots of rolly, jumpy things and is a take-charge kind of guy.
  • Vince Elliott - Sort of like Jack, only nicer and less efficient. He gets hugged to death by a slime monster.
  • Lisa - Vince's Russian (?) fiance', except that she probably ends up with Jack because he's the hero and Vince dies.
  • Doctor Hans Halverson - What slime monster film would be complete without a stupid doctor who wants to save the creature in the name of science? This is that fellow, and he pays for his nonviolence.
  • Michaels - The expendable ensign type guy of the film, he gets fried pretty early on.
  • The Slime Monsters - One-eyed, two-tentacled electrical creatures which can regrow from their own blood! Rather cute in a way.


The Plot: 

Oh no! An asteroid is heading for Earth and only a brave team of space heroes can save the world! Sadly, when these heroes land on the asteroid to place charges, one of them gets a bit of something green stuck to his knee. Once the Earth is saved and our heroes return to a space station, this little bit of something green grows into a slime monster capable of rapid reproduction from its own blood! Soon it gets shot, its blood reproduces, and there are lots and lots of fierce wee beasties running around killing people. Eventually, though, the hero decides "screw it, let's just blow everything up." So he does, and everyone (well, everyone alive) lives happily ever after.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Knee hygiene is very important.
  • Never save the life of a strange alien creature.
  • In fact, trying to save any kind of life always ends in tragedy.
  • While laser guns don't stop alien creatures, hospital beds and flashlights do.
  • Guns are most effective when thrown like spears.
  • The future is absolutely filled with phallic symbols.
  • The future also doesn't look much different from the 60s.
  • The future is very well lit.
  • Space stations blow up real good.
  • Smoke rises in space.
  • A movie involving slime isn't complete without a cheesy song (see also The Blob).

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 4 mins - Nice picture!
  • 8 mins - That rocket has a nipple.
  • 12 mins - Oh my. This docking scene is too disturbing.
  • 18 mins - Golf carts!
  • 25 mins - What's that smoke poof doing up there?
  • 28 mins - Oh yeah, futuristic dancing.
  • 33 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A BOTTLE!
  • 35 mins - That's not very green...
  • 40 mins - It's gone from green slime to red lobster.
  • 44 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A PERSON'S HEAD!
  • 48 mins - Ooh! Amoeba porn!
  • 52 mins - Eat bed, slime beast!
  • 62 mins - Eat flashlight, slime beast!
  • 67 mins - Ha! They hit him with a golf cart!
  • 69 mins - Kerplowie!
  • 77 mins - Up, up, and away!
  • 79 mins - He threw his gun and KILLED SOMETHING!
  • 84 mins - It happened again! WOOHOO!

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note greenslime1.wav Elliott: "Now, since that's the way it is, let's be sure that's the way it is, huh?"
Green Music Note greenslime2.wav Rankin: "You're making a big mistake Lisa. You don't love Vince - you pity him."
Lisa: "I'm very happy with him."
Rankin: "You're lying, you love me."
Green Music Note greenslime3.wav Rankin: "What a minute. You mean this stuff reproduced itself inside the decontamination chamber and then as we...as we stepped up the current it just grew?"
Dr. Halvorsen: "Precisly!"
Green Music Note greenslime4.wav The sound a Green Slime makes.

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipgreenslime1.mpg - 2.6m
Green slime monster running amok!

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FROM THE BADMOVIES.ORG ARCHIVES
ImageThe Giant Claw - Slime drop

Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.

Lesson Learned:
  • Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.

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