METAMORPHOSIS
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| Rated R
| | Copyright 1987 Filmirage
| | Reviewed by Adam Eshack
on 'a long time ago' |
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 | Peter - A young, Jeff Goldblum-like expert professor at Virginia University who has been working on a serum that makes you really strong and stops the aging process; he slowly starts turning into a small T-rex when he tests it out on himself.
| | Sally - Peter's love interest, or more like the Geena Davis of the movie.
| | Tommy - Sally's crabby little kid; hates Peter; ends up with a pet lizard that has Peter's serum on it.
| | Mike - Nice guy; close friends to Sally; friends with Peter.
| | Willy - Peter's nerdy partner; often yelled at by Peter; Peter tears out his throat.
| | Professor Lloyd - Rude old scientist; hates Peter and objects to his serum; Peter eats his throat out.
| | Patricia - Slutty student who has a crush on Peter; choked to death by Peter.
| | Alice - Sally's babysitter; Peter slices her throat and tears out her eye.
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| Alright, so I rented the movie for its creepy 3-D cover with the flashing lights that has caught my eye for a while now. I was really disappointed with it, big surprise. It's an obvious rip-off of "The Fly," with a VERY slow moving pace, some really sloppy editing, a really laughable ending, and horrible acting throughout. Peter, a young professor, is testing out a special serum he's been working on that stops your aging process and gives you strong senses. He falls in love with Sally along the way, who is very interested with his projects. When other professors decide to shut down his project, he decides to try the serum on himself one night to prove that it works, and ends up slowly changing into some sort of dinosaur. He starts killing people along the way and Sally has to try and stop him when he kidnaps her son. There is some neat gore and make-up work in the film's last half, but they don't do anything to help this mess. I suggest you renting "The Fly" instead, but you still gotta love that cover. |
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| Things I Learned From This Movie: | |
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| Movies with 3-D covers are usually signs to bad stinkers.
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| 1 mins - Man, these guys really suck at basketball. DEFENSE!
| | 28 mins - Here's the gratuitous sex scene, we need some light; that annoying Kenny G-like music is driving me nuts.
| | 35 mins - Are these guys even hitting the ball? The sound effects are really off.
| | 37 mins - Gratuitous T & A shot.
| | 38 mins - What was that noise in the background? It sounded like someone behind the camera just pulled up their zipper.
| | 46 mins - Finally, he's changing into a monster.
| | 64 mins - Ugh, nasty kissing scene between mutated Paul and Sally.
| | 67 mins - Here's a cheesy, slow-mo "Chariots of Fire"-like race to get to the serum.
| | 71 mins - Gratuitous shower scene.
| | 77 mins - Poor Alice, what a jerk of Sally not to help her out after getting all sliced up.
| | 88 mins - I can't see a thing, what happened to the security guard?
| | 90 mins - Cool, now Peter is finally stuck in a cheap looking T-rex outfit.
| | 93 mins - Good end twist, now the serum is on Tommy's little pet lizard in your car. Sally, hello, pay attention to the road!
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Professor Lloyd: "You are not only arrogant and megla-maniacal, but stupid!"
Willy: "My god Peter, the man's a cripple!"
Peter: "He's not a man, he's a worm."
Peter: "You don't like me too much, do ya?"
Tommy: "No."
Peter: "Thats okay, I don't like you either. But you know, some of the best friendships are born this way."
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| | Leave a comment | EXTRAS | Buy the movie | |
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There is something worse than golf pants. 