Bad Movie Logo
"A website to the detriment of good film"

Custom Search
HOMEB-MOVIE REVIEWSREADER REVIEWSFORUMINTERVIEWSUPDATESABOUT


MOON OVER TAO - 3 Slimes
Not Rated
Copyright 1997 Bandai Visual
Reviewed by Max Gardner on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Suikyo - Wandering monk who uses Post-It notes and a big paintbrush as weapons.
  • Hayate - Samurai assigned to keep an eye on Suikyo. Killed by the Makaraga.
  • Renge - Monumentally irritating girl who lives in the middle of a forest.
  • Kakugyo - Evil sorcerer who looks like a chef. Smacked upside the head... ...um, chin... ...with a flying rock.
  • Marien, Abira, and Kuzto - Three alien women. Marien and Kuzto die badly.
  • Doromaru - Kakugyo's chief retainer, it would seem. Eaten by the Makaraga.
  • Tadaoki - Lord of an estate; Suikyo's former master.
  • The Makaraga - A big-ass monster that feeds on human blood. Sealed by Renge.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

If Akira Kurosawa were to direct an episode of Xena: Warrior Princess, you'd end up with "Moon Over Tao." This movie is nifty, if a bit slow-moving at first. Aliens come to 16th-century Japan in search of a lump of meteoric iron that contains the Makaraga, the ultimate biological weapon. This creature can be controlled via the Tao, a gadget that resembles a bicycle bell with prongs. Meanwhile, Suikyo and Hayate are looking for Kakugyo, an evil magician who runs a very large group of bandits and keeps the dormant Makaraga close at hand. The monster doesn't actually show up until the last half-hour of the movie, but when it does, it's cool as hell. It seems they actually had something like a budget while working on this film. The special effects are distinctly Raimi-esque. Kakugyo's bandits are particularly amusing - they exist as fodder for anyone who happens to kick more ass than they do. There are quite a few of them (A hundred strong, I'd say.), they laugh like idiots and scream at things, and all of them end up dead by the end of the movie. They also seem to have major arteries everywhere.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Writing "GO" on something will make it fly.
  • Blood-monsters turn brown when they're drunk.
  • Monks are allowed to get drunk off their asses.
  • The top of someone's skull makes a handy sake cup.
  • Alien swords double as pogo sticks.
  • Aliens breathe 2000 Flushes Blue.
  • Bandits will laugh at anything.
  • The sword is mightier than the paintbrush.
  • People in feudal Japan knew the truth about meteors.
  • Aliens even snort and harrumph telepathically.
  • Bald people are evil.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 5 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A ROCK!
  • 19 mins - Ouch...
  • 20 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT! (It's in Acid-Vision, but a breast shot is a breast shot.)
  • 26 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST ANOTHER ROCK!
  • 28 mins - Heh heh, flying log.
  • 29 mins - Idiot blew himself up with his own grenade.
  • 47 mins - Arterial spray!
  • 49 mins - The classic "spirit-fighting" scene. Short but sweet.
  • 50 mins - More arterial spray.
  • 51 mins - If that fight between McDowell and Shatner had been like this, "Star Trek: Generations" would've kicked ass. Maybe not.
  • 53 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST RENGE! (There should've been more of those.)
  • 56 mins - Those two corpses just disappeared.
  • 58 mins - Ouch, a big spear through the stomach.
  • 61 mins - Another artery opened.
  • 62 mins - Large-scale arterial spray!
  • 65 mins - Monster on a string.
  • 79 mins - That's a big splinter you've got there, Hayate.
  • 85 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST THE EXPLOSIVES GUY!
  • 87 mins - All right, it's the final confrontation, and... ...oh. He threw a rock. Okay...
  • 92 mins - Oh shut the hell up, kid.
  • Ending Credits - "Fat Goddess?" I must've missed that...

Quotes: 

  • Tadaoki: "Do you not feel as though you were being pulled into Hell?"
    Hayate: "Yes."
  • Bandit: "The boss?"
    Explosives Guy: "He's staying in his house, holding that thing."
  • Bandit #1: "What's the matter?"
    Bandit #2: "My sword moved by itself."
  • Doromaru: "I am aware of my inability to feel it."
  • Suikyo: "Do you kill and eat men in your dreams?"
  • Tadaoki: "That damn Suikyo. Does he like mountains or just hate this place?"


 Leave a commentEXTRASBuy the movie 

Share It!Buy the movieIMDB Logo
Stumble This ReviewStumble This Review
Digg This ReviewDigg This Review
Buy it from Amazon.com (United States)

Internet Movie Database


Comments:Write CommentPages: [1]
Moon Over Tao
Reply #1. Posted on September 24, 2000, 05:21:56 PM by Collin G
SEE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Moon Over Tao
Reply #2. Posted on October 08, 2000, 06:52:06 AM by Krissyjay
As far as availability goes, isn't this on general video release from media blasters? Oh yeah - I LOVE KEITA AMAMIYA MOVIES!!
Moon Over Tao
Reply #3. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Steve Bentley
Keita Amamiya does indeed rock, folks, and this movie is awesome.  Most Japanese features are "deliberately" (aka-slowly) paced, but often get moving well before the final reel.  I suggest fans also check out MISA the DARK ANGEL, also released by Media Blasters.  Does anyone know if Zeiram 2 has recieved a stateside release?  I have a con-bootleg of it, and its awesome, letterboxed, subtitled, unlike the original which suffers from a horrible dub in its American release, but is still worth checking out.
Moon Over Tao
Reply #4. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:03 PM by Jay Banerjee
Japanese B-Movies have more blood than the American Red Cross.

Moon Over Tao
Reply #5. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:03 PM by Jon Nockels
I just bought this movie (and 3 others) on the sidewalk in downtown Washington DC. I am here on vacation and do not have a VCR in my hotel room so I am here surfing the net looking for reviews of all the movies I bought...I am so glad to see that Moon over Tao is looked upon so highly!
Moon Over Tao
Reply #6. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Dale
You guys haven't lived until you see Amamiya's latest: MIKAZUKI ! This excellent and imaginative marvel is a return to the Giant Robo-style hero that is controlled by a geeky kid and features Hollywood quality CG (of course with better designs and imagination) and a villain that creates monsters from peoples' random thoughts. The results are quite funny and scary at the same time. There is a cool group of power ranger-type heroes who wear sci-fi armour suits that look simply amazing and actually aren't cheesy at all. The series is actually 6 made-for-TV movies that are quite epic when vied back to back. It's really a damn shame they aren't available in the U.S. but you can get DVD copies of the set on E-Bay (Make sure you get the 'Anime International' version NOT the 'Anime Studio' version) Trust me on this one guys. YOU MUST HAVE THEM! It's one of those rare kid-show series that is just as exciting for adults! (He even has some great fights with giant robots that look like those big clunky wind-up robot toys from the early 70s!) Tons of fun!!!
Pages: [1]
 Share on Facebook
RSS Feed Subscribe Subscribe by RSS
Email Subscribe Subscribe by Email


Recommended Articles
How To Find A Bad Movie

The Champions of Justice

Plan 9 from Outer Space

Manos, The Hands of Fate

Podcast: Todd the Convenience Store Clerk

Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

The Human Tornado

Maniac

The Educational Archives: Driver's Ed

Godzilla vs. Monster Zero

Do you have a zombie plan?

FROM THE BADMOVIES.ORG ARCHIVES
ImageThe Giant Claw - Slime drop

Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.

Lesson Learned:
  • Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.

Subscribe to Badmovies.org and get updates by email:

HOME B-Movie Reviews Reader Reviews Forum Interviews TV Shows Advertising Information Sideshows Links Contact
Badmovies.org is owned and operated by Andrew Borntreger. All original content is © 1998 - 2014 by its respective author(s). Image, video, and audio files are used in accordance with Fair Use, and are property of the film copyright holders. You may freely link to any page (.html or .php) on this website, but reproduction in any other form must be authorized by the copyright holder.