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THE STORMRIDERS - 5 Slimes
Not Rated
Copyright 1998 Golden Harvest
Reviewed by Henry Dunn on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

Green Dot Note: The Characters are introduced in the film with their name appearing on screen when they are first seen. It is a nice idea for this type of film.
Green Dot Striding Cloud - Aaron Kwok! Master of the Cloud Palms. Has blue hair and is very moody-broody. Finally gets his revenge against Lord Conquer for the death of his father.
Green Dot Whispering Wind - Ekin Cheng! Master of the Wind Kicks. More outgoing than Cloud, but finally realizes what his master is.
Green Dot Lord Conquer - Sonny Chiba! Possesses the Trinity Strength. Master of just about everything except his destiny. Seeks control of that by raising and then killing Wind and Cloud. Defeated by them instead (betcha didn't see that coming).
Green Dot Charity - Kristy Yang! Lord Conquer's Daughter. Collects polished stones from riverbeds and is the object of both Cloud and Wind's affections, therefore she dies tragically.
Green Dot Frost - Master of the Frost Fists and heir to Lord Conquer's clan. Killed by Lord Conquer when he tries to step down.
Green Dot Mud Buddha - A prophet of great renown that is cursed by the heavens with boils and sores. Only the Fire Monkey can relieve the pain by sucking out the poison.
Green Dot Jester - The Court advisor(?) to Lord Conquer. A medieval far-east dandy personified.
Green Dot Doctor Yu - A well respected member of his community that possesses the Fire Beast Arm. Lops it off and grafts it to Cloud after his act of self mutilation.
Green Dot Muse - Qi Shu! Tomboy Daughter of Doctor Yu that falls for Cloud. Possesses the finger poke of ultimate concentration ruination.
Green Dot Cloud's Father - Master swordsmith that forges and hides the Ultimate Blade. Killed by Hawk and Bat.
Green Dot Whispering Prince and Ying - Wind's father and mother. He loses to Lord Conquer twice, losing Ying the first time and his Blizzard Blade the next. The Fire Beast in the Cirrus Cave actually wins in the end. Yum Yum. She took the easy way to eliminating her dishonor (i.e. jumping to her death).
Green Dot Sword Saint - The most powerful warrior in the land. Rival to Lord Conquer. Killed by Muse.
Green Dot Shaolin Monk - I can't read Cantonese and they never say his name during the film. Protects the Fire Monkey and mediates disputes.
Green Dot Hawk and Bat - Lord Conquer's mooks. Killed Cloud's father. Killed by the Fire Beast.
Green Dot Fire Beast - Guards the Blood Bohdi fruit of the Cirrus Cave. Gets iced by Wind.
Green Dot Dragon and Phoenix - The Ice Vigor is buried with Dragon's father and Cloud comes to "borrow" it for Charity's body. She is his pregnant wife who can fire flaming arrows, but has a tendency to be hit by them herself.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

This is basically your average "two boys are destined to defeat an all powerful conqueror and are brought into his house to be raised and they fall in love with his daughter and they fight over her and the lord accidentally kills her instead of the boys during the quarrel and he chases down the one that took her body and sends the other to collect some fruit that will make him stronger for his upcoming duel with a powerful man that has been putting him off for 10 years and one boy gets a new arm and the other gets his father's sword that is where the fruit is since his father died there fighting the lord and they return after the powerful man is defeated by the touch of a girl and they proceed to have the big, huge final battle in the graveyard of swords that the lord has collected over the years" story. Whew, but that's just the underlying threadbare excuse for a plot (smile) to which is added some the best digital effects this side of Industrial Light and Magic. The Fire Beast and the final fight sequence are some of the best looking combination of digital and live actor action sequences that are right on par with the lightsabre duels from Episode I. If this is the next evolution of Hong Kong Afternoon Theatre then please bring on some more. At just over two hours, you would think there would be spots that lag, but if there are, I can't find them. It's like reading a manga that you can't put down and you're dying for the next issue when finished.

And yes, it is over two hours long...

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

Green Dot Forcing open puzzle boxes causes them to explode.
Green Dot Fainting can sometimes last for days.
Green Dot Even a prophecy lacking any subtlety will go over the head of its intended target.
Green Dot When the men you love are away, silk cloths will do in a pinch.
Green Dot Swordsmen make the perfect wedding gifts.
Green Dot An evil, all-powerful conqueror's only wish is that his daughter will marry well and have a good life.
Green Dot When dramatically appropriate, normal humans can leap great distances. Usually to their deaths.
Green Dot A several hundred pound casket can be carried around without much trouble by only one person.
Green Dot When water is scarce, blood can be substituted. Only works with special super attacks though.
Green Dot Two fingers + Open palm = Broken arm. Ouch.
Green Dot Removing and discarding useless limbs can often give you an edge in a fight.
Green Dot Self-sealing doors are standard options for above ground tombs.
Green Dot Surprisingly, newly grafted arms look almost exactly like the ones they replace.
Green Dot Fire Beasts tend not to play with their food long. At least the food with a low flash point...
Green Dot Fire Beasts should not reside in caves near the sea or with pools in them.
Green Dot If you find an old man standing in a trance, DO NOT TOUCH HIM.

Stuff To Watch For: 

Green Dot Opening Credits - A montage of CG scenes that are items plucked from the film. Very nice.
Green Dot 12 mins - If this flashback fight sequence with the bamboo is any indication... : )
Green Dot 14 mins - "You won't like me when I'm angry" Bruce Banner look there.
Green Dot 17 mins - And you thought Big Trouble in Little China had the monopoly on leaping sword fights.
Green Dot 18 mins - Wonder what THAT was, guess I'll have to wait until later to find out. *
Green Dot 42 mins - Now that's what I call hard water.
Green Dot 45 mins - He's got such a magnetic personality... ...thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week.
Green Dot 47 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A DOCK AND A WATER WHEEL!
Green Dot 50 mins - Nothing like a good laugh after having been hand held step by step through your most obvious prophecy.
Green Dot 58 mins - We are STILL introducing characters to the plot.
Green Dot 66 mins - Unrolled with style.
Green Dot 69 mins - This can only lead to a special effects filled fight sequence. YES.
Green Dot 70 mins - Blazing super kick of ultimate destruction and mayhem.
Green Dot 80 mins - When the soundtrack plug stops, the fight begins.
Green Dot 81 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A CASKET!
Green Dot 82 mins - He's not gonna do what I think he's gonna... ...ow, ow, ow, ow.
Green Dot 83 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A DOOR!
Green Dot 86 mins - He can't still be standing... ...ok, there he goes.
Green Dot 96 mins - * Oh, so that's what it is.
Green Dot 106 mins - When reality starts to ripple, you know a can of whoopass is about to be opened.
Green Dot 117 mins - Well, you knew the final confrontation HAD to be here, didn't you?
Green Dot 121 mins - Great "Oh shit!" look there
Green Dot End Credits - Credits roll next to behind the scenes footage... ...very nice

Quotes: 

Ming: "You have no respect for me."
Cloud and Frost: "That's right. Shut up."

Jester: "What is that smell? It stinks."
Muse: "It's the scent of a woman."
Jester: "Women?"

Cloud: "She is already my woman. Go away."

Muse: "He lost his lover and his arm all in one day."

Cloud: "My arm... ...why?"
Muse: "Like it? I put it on for you."

Lord Conquer: "Wind, for two months you have done nothing but drink and sleep. If you go on like this, you will be wasted."

Hawk: "That day, all 296 people at Unchallenged City took this poison. It's colorless, scentless, flesh rotting and bone eating."

Lord Conquer: "A long awaited occasion! Although I now rule the martial arts world, not being able to fight you is like having a bone stuck in my throat. I must get it out to ease my discomfort."

Monk: "Master Wind. Do not use all your force, do not say all you think. If you go too far, destiny will prematurely end."

Lord Conquer: "I taught you Fists, Palms and Kicks, but I (sic) ultimate weapon is the sword!"

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipstormriders1.mpg - 2.2m
Cloud interrupts the wedding in this scene. The entire film is like this, full of rich colors and nice effects.

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Comments:Write CommentPages: [1] 2
The Stormriders
Reply #1. Posted on June 08, 2000, 01:53:34 AM by Sir_Sword
This movie was based on a comic book called "Ting Ha Fung Wah", a comic which, hopefully, be brought over from China because of the WTO/America/China deal. The comic is very cool, and if someone finds it, pick it up.
The Stormriders
Reply #2. Posted on July 31, 2000, 10:45:49 AM by Kyle T.
This movie pretty much rocks kids.

American filmmakers (action filmmakers I mean) could learn a little from this one.  The story is good.  The effects are fun and exciting.  Its not all one or the other.  Its a little of both baby.

I paid $35 for this puppy on DVD and I'm loving it.  Its grrrrreeaaattttt!
The Stormriders
Reply #3. Posted on November 25, 2006, 05:09:49 PM by Patrick
Henry Dunn i have a simple question which a movie review should answer, but yours doesnt.

DID YOU LIKE THE MOVIE OR NOT?

In my opinion this is not a movie that belongs on the Bad Movies website.  I was mystified that it would be on the site after having seen it two years ago.

I hope you're one of those condescendingly snotty movies critics who think that because someting is not made in Hollywood it is not worthy of merit.  Some people seem to think that a movie cant be entertained if it was produced by the same country that produced some cheaply made, poorly produced kung fu, Bruce Lee rip offs, which in itself is condenscending to think that all Martial arts movies are not worthy of merit.

Anyways it you thought this was a bad movie, you are very hard to entertain indeed and need to stick to the arty neo realism films that only get shown in arthouse cinemas.
The Stormriders
Reply #4. Posted on November 25, 2006, 05:09:49 PM by Viv
I LUVV THIS MOVIE!! OMG!!!  It's so good, the plot is actually pretty good, but I still think it shouldn't have ended at the final fight.  In the comic, Frost was taken hostage, wasn't he?  Anyways, I luv this, but I still think Frost is pretti cool and should have gotten a bigger part, dude, by the way ekin cheung is kool, but in this film he looks like cr@p, no offense, hehehe
FROST ROCKS
The Stormriders
Reply #5. Posted on May 16, 2001, 07:42:31 PM by got a problem
this is the best RP type movie ever the graphics are kick ass and the moves actualy look real this is the best movie ever!!!!
The Stormriders
Reply #6. Posted on November 25, 2006, 05:09:49 PM by Austin
Wouldn't it be cool if these same guys did a Dragon Ball Z live action movie using the same effects?
The Stormriders
Reply #7. Posted on November 25, 2006, 05:10:12 PM by Daphne
I own the movie and love it!!
 
I would like to know if there is such a thing as the "Ying Yang Puzzle Box"? If so where can I acquire one?

                                         Thanks,
                              This is a serious request
                 
 
I can also be reached at:(404)669-2029
                          (678)429-9565
The Stormriders
Reply #8. Posted on November 25, 2006, 05:09:03 PM by Jennifer
ok, first off, Cloud is hot and so is Frost..... not to sure about Wind though, he was cool and all, but still..... who here thinks he in some ways looks like Takuro...

ok, i liked the movie, it was very good. I call it a cross between Crouching Tiger and DBZ. It had action and it was cool. Very awesome movie , but it says that its over 2 hours long? i didnt notice it, but i was into the movie, it was very good.
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Review first posted on 27 January 2007. Varla is more like a man-eating tiger than a kitten, and her reckless desires could be her undoing. Think of her as a Shakespearean tragic hero with cleavage and judo chops.

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