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ULTRAMAN

Image from the series

Image from the series

Listen to the theme song
Series Overview of Ultraman
I used to watch this show all the time as a child. The funky opening music stuck with me through the years, probably because it was outrageous - even to a kid. That is impressive when you are talking about young boys who thought nothing of drinking Kool-Aid made with only half the recommended water, then jousting with wiffle ball bats on their bicycles. (I barely survived childhood.)

The show seemed to follow a formula that was set in stone. The Science Patrol is summoned to investigate strange occurrences and encounters a monster. They battle the creature for a while with their rocket plane or hand weapons, but find that they cannot stop the giant menace. At that point Hayata figures out a way to separate himself from the group and transforms into Ultraman. The rubber monster's lifespan can be measured in minutes once Ultraman appears.

Mix, rinse, repeat twenty or thirty times and have the rest of the team never realize that Hayata is always missing when Ultraman is around. That is the entire series in a nutshell.

The Science Patrol
ImageUltraman
Standing hundreds of feet tall, he protects Earth from numerous threats using skills he picked up in his "Introduction to Karate" class. Originally from Nebula M78, the godlike being gave up his individual existence to save Hayata's life after their spaceships collided.

I imagine he spends a lot of time watching what the young man does while in control of their shared body. Dentist visits, diarrhea, and jock itch were probably unpleasant surprises. "Hey, check it out, I have testicles. Ahhhhhhh! Why do they itch?"

(No way that jock itch would still exist in Nebula M78, right?)

ImageHayata
He can transform into Ultraman when the need is great by activating the Beta Capsule (which looks like a novelty flashlight). Regular viewers will notice that he often takes courses of action that are risky. Should things not work out, he can always go ultra. 99% of the time, the latter solution is required.

ImageCaptain Muramatsu
The Commanding Officer of the science patrol has a knack for knowing when somebody is in trouble and also knowing if searching for them will be dangerous. Most of the time his job is easy: tell Hayata to do anything requiring independent action, regulate Ide and Arashi to something less important, and keep Fuji updated back at headquarters (Fuji does not get out much).

ImageIde
With the exception of a "Kenny" archtype, this character is the most annoying you will find in a show or movie based around rubber monsters. He is a loudmouth, clumsy, and generally mucks up any task he is given to perform. If the Captain writes fitness reports on the Science Patrol members, this goon is definitely the individual who gets the double signers.

ImageArashi
Slightly more proficient then Ide. I attribute this to his being quieter and larger. You may wonder why being chubby would make someone more effective in the Science Patrol. The organization tends to fight giant beasts. If you are eating popcorn, grapes, or cookies, which do you go for first, the large or small ones? Exactly. While Arashi distracts the hungry monster, everyone else is free to run away or shoot at it. To describe Arashi in two words: pudgy decoy.

ImageFuji
Selected to add a feminine touch to the team. Despite the stereotyping, she is close in competence to Hayata. I mean, if the golden boy could not turn into Ultraman, Fuji would be a good choice for many difficult missions.

ImageHoshino
Do not let the name fool you, because this is a "Kenny." Somebody get the tar, feathers, and flamethower.



 
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FROM THE BADMOVIES.ORG ARCHIVES
ImageThe Giant Claw - Slime drop

Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.

Lesson Learned:
  • Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.

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