Welcome b-movie fan. Here is a safe place to indulge in your more unsavory cinematic tastes. You watch them after family members go to bed, your significant other screws up their face in disgust every time you linger over Gymkata. Once, a friend even hit you for renting something really awful. That is all going to change. Here is a website where you can read reviews, talk with other b-movie fans, and glorify the genre. I am Andrew Borntreger, I am with the government, and I am here to help.
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Updated review! Earth's feathered champion is a visitor from outer space who looks decidedly like a walking, talking, beer guzzling duck.
Lesson Learned:
- Falling stars are actually hapless waterfowl burning up as they reenter the atmosphere.
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Remember Phoebe Cates' swimsuit scene in "Fast Times at Ridgemont High?" Replace her with a dude. Doesn't seem right. Does it? Welcome to the mildly homoerotic world of David DeCoteau and his films.
Lesson Learned:
- There is such a thing as a bad shower scene.
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Halfway through this film I began to wonder just how many times the characters said "f**k." Come to think of it, "f**k" sums up my feelings nicely.
Lesson Learned:
- There are a whole lot of items that should never come into contact with your spine. A vacuum cleaner is one of them.
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Where else can you watch a mascara-wearing David Hasselhoff fight stop motion robots with a lightsaber?
- Starcrash
The Ymir eats sulfur and is docile unless poked. It only wants to be left alone, but people and dogs insist on doing the one thing that annoys a Ymir. That is right; they poke it.
- 20 Million Miles to Earth
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| SCREENERS |
Due to the volume of submissions, I am unable to accept screeners for review.
This is a pity, because I have seen a number of hidden gems via screeners. On the other hand, I have also been subjected to true torture by certain sadistic director/producers.
Information about new films can be posted in the Press Releases and News section of the forum. | |
| WEBMASTER'S NOTES |
For best viewing use at least 1024X768 resolution and true color. The site has been tested with Firefox, IE, Mozilla, and Opera.
Due to weird b-movie stuff, this website is intended for teens and older. There are currently ZERO bare breasts on this website.
(Unless a stripper is lying on the server.) | |
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