RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD
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| Rated R
| | Copyright 1985 Orion Pictures
| | Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
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- Freddy - Young guy who just started working for a medical supply company, things look bright until he turns into a zombie.
- Frank - The Pathmark guy! For a man he certainly screams a lot. Cremates himself.
- Burt - Owner of the medical supply company, actually kicks some zombie butt with several weapons. (Lead pipe, pickax, and a baseball bat.) Vaporized by a nuclear explosion.
- Ernie - Dedicated mortician who loves classical German music and his pearl handled pistol. Nuked.
- Tina - Freddy's girlfriend, she spends the film pretty much freaking out about him turning into a zombie. Nuked.
- Spider - Levelheaded (For the most part.) member of young punk gang. Nuked.
- Suicide - Big guy with lots of piercing, eaten by Old Mushy.
- Trash - Linnea Quigly! Freaked out punk girl who wears leg warmers for most of the film. (And that's about it.) Eaten by old men.
- Casey and Chuck - She has big hair and he's a dweeb, nuked.
- Col Glover - Army officer who has been searching for the contaminated barrels for fourteen years.
- Scuz - Fodder member of the gang.
- Old Mushy - My favorite zombie, he's the one which was actually sealed in the tank (his real name is "The Tarman"). Loses his head.
- The Zombies - Any corpse which comes in contact with this strange chemical, almost impossible to destroy.
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| "Send more paramedics..." ...Hehe! This movie, which puts a twist on Night of the Living Dead, is full of grisly images and humor. If you can appreciate the humor involved with a pack of zombies munching police officers, then grabbing the radio and asking for backup. Everything starts out with Frank showing the FNG a group of barrels stored in the basement. Seems that they contain bodies, the U.S. Army had cleaned up a chemical spill and put all the contaminated parts into the barrels, due to a small mistake in shipping the darn things arrived at Burt's warehouse. Barrels, filled with toxic chemicals and rotting bodies show up on the doorstep, what would you do? Burt kept them. Bad Burt. Frank just has to slap one of the things to prove how sturdy it is and gas floods out, both guys drop like stones while the vapors permeate everything. They do not wake up in Oz, it's still the same drab warehouse, but now the split dogs (Veterinary thing.) and frozen cadavers are running amok. Burt's bright idea number two is cremating the zombies, when rain contaminated by the smoke starts soaking the graveyard all heck breaks loose. On the off chance you didn't read the character descriptions, don't grow attached to anyone, they're either zombie chow or fallout. Even Trash, she has the misfortune of experiencing her greatest fear, being stripped down naked and eaten by old men. Not that nudity frightens her, I'm still trying to decide if the girl was wearing a leotard carefully blended with her skin or if she was darn good with a mirror and razor. |
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| Things I Learned From This Movie: | |
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- Corpses can get freezer burn.
- Chemical companies conduct most of their R&D in hospitals.
- The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers is overrated.
- If there is one single graveyard not to play around in, it's called "Resurrection Cemetery."
- Lysol covers up unpleasant zombie odors.
- Nudists hate acid rain.
- Eyes are the last body part to rot.
- Zombies pioneered mosh pits.
- Brains are like Novocain for zombies.
- Ex boyfriends are even more annoying when they're dead.
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- 1 min - Well that is a twis. This is all true?
- 5 mins - It's the 80s!
- 9 mins - I wonder who is on the other end of that 1-800 number these days?
- 18 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST HALF A DOG!
- 21 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
- 38 mins - I am guessing that rain clouds seeded with those chemicals are a very bad thing.
- 62 mins - Scuz, do not get so close to the window. Oops!
- 77 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A CHEAP PAINTING!
- 80 mins - Have fun!
- 87 mins - They nuked Kentucky! What took so long?
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- Burt: "One question Frank: this guy screaming in here, you're sure he's a dead cadaver?"
Frank: "Let's open the door and find out!"
Burt: "No that's all right, Frank. I'll take your word for that."
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| | Audio clips in wav format | SOUNDS | Starving actors speak out | |
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| File | Dialog |  | returndead1.wav
| Frank: "International treaty, all skeletons come from India."
Freddy: "No kidding, how come?"
Frank: "How the hell do I know. 'how come?' the important question is, where do they get all the skeletons with perfect teeth?"
| | returndead2.wav
| Trash: "Do you ever fantasize about being killed?"
| | returndead3.wav
| Ernie: "What the hell is in those bags?"
Burt: "Rabid Weasels."
Ernie: "What? What the hell are you doing with a bunch of rabid weasels?"
Burt: "That's what I was trying to explain to you, they came in as part of a shipment, of course they weren't supposed to be rabid."
| | returndead4.wav
| Zombie: "Brains, brains, brains!"
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| Click for a larger image | IMAGES | Scenes from the movie | |
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| | Watch a scene | VIDEO | MPEG video files | |
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 | returndead1.mpg
- 2.4m
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| Suicide's heart was in the right place here; he is trying to save Tina. Unfortunately his brain is in the right place too...for Mushy to eat it.
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| | Leave a comment | EXTRAS | Buy the movie | |
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| Return of the Living Dead
Reply #1. Posted on October 13, 1999, 11:29:46 AM by Dave of MonsterIsland
This is perhaps one of my all time favorite horror movies. I haven't watched it in a while and seeing this review made me watch it again. It is sooooo awesome! A truly great zombie movie (I love Zombie movies!) Thanks for the memories...
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Reply #2. Posted on December 23, 1999, 09:45:13 AM by ChristopherKumm@webtv.net
This is without a doubt the scariest movie of all time,in my view! I talked to Alan Trautman (Tarman) a while ago and he was suprised to see he had fans from this movie. He is a great guy and played the Tarman role well the only flaw was that they made Tarman little to smart, you know the chain bit and trying to get Freddys girlfriend. No way could a zombie be that smart, but also that scary he looks like he had chickengravey all over his face yum yummy! And they made his teeth very white and if you look at his eyes they have the glaze look to them, Tarman without a doubt in my mind is the scariest zombie of all time only few come close to him!
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Reply #3. Posted on January 16, 2000, 10:26:12 AM by AaronZombie@AOL.COM
Some people don't consider this to be a sequel to Romero's trilogy...but it is!This is probably my 2nd fav. zombie flick of all time,behind Day of the Dead which is the best Zombie movie of all time.I love the soundtrack(I also have it),and I also love Linnea Quigley's charecter.Exciting,great story,acting,effects,humor,and music,*****out of*****.
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Reply #4. Posted on May 27, 2000, 11:59:30 PM by Monte
BEST horror movie of all time! We all know why it was; the real question is why wasn't the style and atmosphere of this film continued, instead of those laughable sequels that had the potential to become *real* bad movies?!
> Good news/bad news on the DVD issue-apparently several entities own a piece of this film, so in order to obtain the rights, a certain studio would have to shell out big bucks to own it. However, once this studio digs deep, they most certainly will want a maximum return on thier investment$. This means that they would be willing to put together an elite widescreen presentation of the film(uncut of course), with all sorts of audio/video extras to appeal to the collector/fans. If you are a videofile horror phan, be resourceful and start screaming for MORE BRAINS(!) wherever you feel would help.
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Reply #5. Posted on May 29, 2000, 02:42:38 PM by Max Levin
Well, someone has to call this movie "not good", and guess who that is? I really donīt mean that this movie gives me headache(hehe... someONE else can give me that instead) but I dont see the logic behind the film. Why the hell must it end up with EVERYBODY DEAD(trade mark), and worse, WHY DO THEY HAVE ZOMBIES THERE? When you see films like the Dead movies, you know that the victims will be from feet to head eaten. Now why do these "zombies" just eat the brains in this movie. And: WHEN DID ZOMBIES LEARN HOW TO RUN? Nah, I canīt say that I really love this suckass b-movie but itīs funny now and then, so Iīll give it one and a half slime dripps... radioactive and stinky ones.
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Reply #6. Posted on July 01, 2000, 02:01:43 AM by D.A. Kellough
Love this movie! One of my all-time favorites.
Here's a fun bit of trivia. The punky tune Linnea strips to, "Tonight, We Make Love (Until we Die)," is performed by a group called SSQ. SSQ is an earlier incarnation of Stacey Q, the bubbly, upbeat, cute, blond, 80s dance pop singer best known for 1986's "2 of Hearts."
I saw on VH-1 that she's some kind of Buddhist guru these days.
Interesting career path.
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Reply #7. Posted on August 01, 2000, 10:19:46 PM by Bill
There is no other movie like this. (well, that goes without saying, I guess.) I can remember going around for weeks after seeing telling everyone "I'll bus 'em in da damn head!" (Spider rules, for a silly 80's jerry-curled punk-boy.) For those that have a copy, if you listen closely when Burt crashes the car into the dumpster (with two zombies on the hood), right as Casey and Chuck run to the window, you can hear one of the zombies scream, "Oh, sh*t!" I used to have a copy myself, on a Beta video tape, and actaully managed to wear the tape out before Beta VCRs were discontinued. I am a total fan of this movie. Part 2 sucked ass, though. #3 was decent (read: lots of bloody gore and stuff), but it didn't capture the same spirit.
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Reply #8. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Jeff
This movie really takes me back to the cheesy 80's, when I was a little punk rocker myself! I always wondered if Tina is really a punk rocker or does she just hang out with them? Also, does the Tarman's head really hit Cassie's leg when Burt knocks it off with a baseball bat, or does it just appear to? I have watched this movie over and over and I never get tired of it.
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