| Criminologist | There are those who say life is an illusion, LIKE YOUR NECK! that reality is simply a figment of the imagination. LIKE YOUR NECK! If this is so, then Brad and Janet are quite safe. HOWEVER. However, the sudden departure of their host and his LOVER! creation, into the seclusion of his somber bridal suite had left them feeling both apprehensive and HORNY! uneasy. WHATEVER HAPPENED TO FEELING GAY AND MERRY? A feeling which grew UNLIKE YOUR NECK! as the other guests departed and they were shown to their separate rooms. PINK IS FOR VIRGINS. LOOK OUT FOR THE BASIN! SHE HITS THAT THING EVERY WEEK. BLUE IS FOR ASSHOLES, AT LEAST THE BASIN'S SAFE. MAKE A FACE LIKE A MONKEY RIFF! |
| Janet | Who is it? Who's there? CANDYGRAM. |
| Frank-N-Furter | It's only me Janet. |
| Janet | Oh Brad darling, come in. ALL THE WAY IN! Oh Brad! Oh yes my darling, oh, but what if? |
| Frank-N-Furter | It's all right Janet, everything's going to be all right. |
| Janet | Oh, I hope so my darling. DON'T TOUCH THE HAIR! Oh! A DEAD RAT! It's you! |
| Frank-N-Furter | I'm afraid so Janet, but isn't it nice? |
| Janet | Oh you beast! You monster, oh! What have you done with Brad? NOTHING YET! |
| Frank-N-Furter | Oh well, nothing. Why? Do you think I should? |
| Janet | You tricked me! I wouldn't have, I never, never... |
| Frank-N-Furter | Yes, yes I know, but it isn't all bad is it? I think you'll really find it quite pleasurable. |
| Janet | Oh, oh stop! I mean help! Oh Brad, oh Brad! HE'S NOT DOWN THERE! |
| Frank-N-Furter | Brad's probably asleep by now, do you want him to see you like this? |
| Janet | It's your fault, you're to blame! Oh, I was saving myself. FOR A RAINY DAY? |
| Frank-N-Furter | I'm sure you're not spent, yet. SPEND HER, SPEND HER, LEAVE A DEPOSIT! |
| Janet | Promise you won't tell Brad? |
| Frank-N-Furter | Cross my heart and hope to die. YOU WILL! MOP, MOP, MOP, ALL DAY LONG! MOP, MOP, MOP WHILE I SING THIS SONG! HEY SIS, LET'S GO FUCK WITH THE MONSTER! GOD MY BROTHER HAS A GREAT ASS. GIVE US A TWITCH ROCKY! WE KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING, BUT IT'LL NEVER FIT! ONE FOR THE ROAD! ELBOW SEX, ELBOW SEX! HEY RIFF RAFF, I THINK THERE'S A BUG ON MAGENTA'S NECK! WHERE IS THE BATHROOM IN THIS PLACE? |
| Frank-N-Furter | Oh Brad darling, it's no good here. It'll destroy us. |
| Brad | Don't worry Janet, we'll be away from here in the morning. |
| Frank-N-Furter | Oh Brad, you're so strong and protective. DON'T TOUCH THE HAIR! IT'S THE SAME DEAD RAT! |
| Brad | You! |
| Frank-N-Furter | I'm afraid so Brad, but isn't it nice? |
| Brad | Why you, what have you done with Janet? MORE THAN YOU HAVE. |
| Frank-N-Furter | Oh nothing. LIAR! Why? Do you think I should? |
| Brad | You tricked me. I wouldn't have, I've never, never, never! WHAT ABOUT THAT ONE TIME IN BOY SCOUTS? |
| Frank-N-Furter | Yes, I know, but it isn't all bad is it? Not even half bad. I think you really quite enjoyed it. |
| Brad | Oh stop it, stop it. Janet, Janet! SHE'S NOT DOWN THERE! |
| Frank-N-Furter | Janet's probably asleep by now, do you want her to see you like this? |
| Brad | Like this, like hell! It's you're fault, you're to blame! WHY DID YOU DRINK PEPSI? I thought it was the real thing! BITE IT! |
| Frank-N-Furter | Oh come on Brad, admit it. You liked it, didn't you? There's no crime in giving yourself over to pleasure. EXCEPT IN (INSERT YOUR STATE HERE)! Brad, we've wasted so much time already, Janet needn't know, I won't tell her. |
| Brad | Well if you promise you won't tell. |
| Frank-N-Furter | On my mother's grave. DON'T TALK WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL FRANK! |
| Riff Raff | IT'S RIFF RAFF, THE AMAZING TALKING STOP SIGN! Master, Rocky has broken his chains and vanished. The new playmate is loose and somewhere on the castle grounds. IS ANYONE DOING ANYTHING? Magenta has just released the dogs. MAGENTA IS A DOG. |
| Frank-N-Furter | Coming! SO IS BRAD!
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Little girls will happily substitute a big, ugly toad for a doll. 