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B-MOVIE REVIEWS

THE NUMBERS
MOVIE NAMERATINGSYNOPSIS
20 Million Miles to Earth 3 Slimes Please do not poke the Ymir.
2019: After the Fall of New York 3 Slimes A rebellious warrior tries to save the last fertile woman on Earth.
7 Grandmasters 2 Slimes Using his Pai Mei Fist style, Shang Kuan Cheng must find and defeat each of the other Grandmasters.
The 7th Voyage of Sinbad 4 Slimes The prince must brave cyclops, a dragon, and an evil magician to save his princess.
Where else can you watch a mascara-wearing David Hasselhoff fight stop motion robots with a lightsaber?
- Starcrash

The Ymir eats sulfur and is docile unless poked. It only wants to be left alone, but people and dogs insist on doing the one thing that annoys a Ymir. That is right; they poke it.
- 20 Million Miles to Earth

Forget chiken, those cows should be terrified of rabbetz
- Night of the Lepus
THE LETTER A
MOVIE NAMERATINGSYNOPSIS
The Abominable Dr. Phibes 4 Slimes Vincent Price stars in what is almost a perfect black comedy. Hmmm...die like an Egyptian?
Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe 2 Slimes Jesse "The Body" Ventura defends the universe from a renegade alien.
The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai 3 Slimes Buckaroo Banzai must stop alien 'lectroids from escaping the 8th dimension.
Alice's Restaurant Skull Why am I tormented by hippies every Thanksgiving?
Alien 2: On Earth 1 Slime Spelunkers are trapped in a cave filled with aliens.
The Alien Dead Skull Zombies created by a meteor consume a town in Florida.
Alien from L.A. 1 Slime Kathy Ireland discovers an underground city.
Alien Prey Skull An alien encounters two British lesbians. Even the "L" word didn't save this film.
Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold 1 Slime James Earl Jones wearing a leopard skin smock, Sharon Stone, and Elvira as a jungle queen!
The Angry Red Planet 3 Slimes The first mission to Mars encounters terrible monsters, including a bat-rat-spider.
A*P*E 2 Slimes Korean King Kong Krazyness!
A.P.E.X. 2 Slimes Time travel and killer robots; what a mix.
The Apple 3 Slimes Two Canadians learn the truth about American pop music.
Arena 3 Slimes Aliens rule the future of professional boxing, but Steve Armstrong is mankind's last great hope.
Army of Darkness 3 Slimes Ash defends medieval Europe from an undead army. Groovy mayhem!
At the Earth's Core 3 Slimes Peter Cushing and Doug McClure take on hypnotic pteranodons!
Atomic Age Classics Vol. 6: Love & Marriage 3 Slimes Educational films to ensure you will enjoy a happy marriage, 1950s style.
The Atomic Brain 2 Slimes Brain transplants galore, including swapping them between a cat and a woman.
Ator 2 Slimes Why did Italy make a PG copy of "Conan the Barbarian?"
Attack of the Crab Monsters 2 Slimes The Professor (think Gilligan's Island) is pitted against giant crustaceans.
Attack from Mars 1 Slime The attack is directed at the audience's intelligence.
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes 4 Slimes Tomatoes suddenly become psychopathic killers!
Attack of the Supermonsters 2 Slimes The Gemini Force fights to save mankind from dinosaurs in this "seamless" blend of suitmation, super-marionation, and animation.
THE LETTER B
MOVIE NAMERATINGSYNOPSIS
Babes in Toyland 2 Slimes Drew Barrymore and Keanu Reeves must save Toyland from evil Christmas Trees.
Bad Channels 2 Slimes Fungus aliens take over a radio station to collect women.
Bad Girls Go to Hell 3 Slimes But the stupid ones go to New York, apparently.
Bad Taste 4 Slimes Vomit eating aliens invade Earth seeking to turn humans into intergalactic fast food.
Barbarella: Queen of the Galaxy 3 Slimes Jane Fonda encounters an Angel, a lava lamp monster, and Duran Duran in the year 40,000.
Barn of the Blood Llama 3 Slimes Crazed llamas which spit toxic cud and hate menstruating women.
Bats 1 Slime Bats, created by our government to be the ultimate weapon, get loose and chew up Texas.
Battle Beneath the Earth 2 Slimes The Chinese are tunneling under America's defenses to plant atomic bombs under our cities.
Battle Beyond the Stars 3 Slimes John Boy must fight off an evil warlord to save his planet. Luckily he has seven samu...ah, some aliens helping him.
Battle Queen 2020 Skull Julie Strain fights for control of the last snowmobiles on Earth.
Beast from Haunted Cave 3 Slimes A spider monster lurks in the wintry woods.
The Beast of Yucca Flats 3 Slimes Tor Johnson becomes a killing monster in the name of progress.
The Beastmaster 3 Slimes Dar was born from a cow (long story) and is able to speak with animals.
Beginning of the End 2 Slimes Giant grasshoppers threaten Chicago!
The Being 1 Slime Idaho's one and only monster movie.
Beneath the Planet of the Apes 3 Slimes Mutants under NYC worship "The One True Bomb."
Beowulf 1 Slime Same as the legend, but with techno music, chainsaw swords, and martial arts.
Big Bad Mama 2 Slimes "Bonny and Clyde" with a naked William Shatner thrown in, yech.
Big Meat Eater 1 Slime I have seen cub scout troops with bigger budgets.
Bigfoot (1970) Skull I'd rather spend ninety minutes looking at the poster than actually watching the movie.
Billy Jack 2 Slimes Caring and productive people (the hippies) are beset by evil white men, but their defender is a legendary figure clad in denim.
Black Magic 2 Slimes Booty-flavored rice ball...of death!
The Black Scorpion 2 Slimes That is a big darn scorpion.
Black Shampoo 2 Slimes Jonathan brings a new meaning to the phrase "cream rinse."
Blades 2 Slimes A golf course is terrorized by a killer lawnmower in this low budget parody of "Jaws."
Bleeders 2 Slimes Nothing like a scene where the main character eats a pickled baby.
The Blind Dead 3 Slimes They thirst for the warm blood of the living, and hunt victims by following their terrified screams.
The Blob (1958) 3 Slimes A true classic of the genre. Watch as Steve McQueen fights a hungry horror from outer space!
The Blob (1988) 3 Slimes The Blob returns to dine once again on tasty human snacks.
Blood Freak 1 Slime Nothing says, "Happy Thanksgiving!" like a turkey-headed man killing drug users and drinking their blood to satisfy his own addiction.
The Blood of Heroes 3 Slimes Brutal "after the apocalypse" sports film.
Blood Hook 2 Slimes Fishing for people is a perfect way to pass the afternoon.
Bloodsucking Freaks 2 Slimes A sadist master trains female slaves.
Bloody Bender Skull Independent film about a crazy killer.
Blue Demon 1 Slime Scientists create FORTRAN sharks.
Body Melt 3 Slimes New vitamins which cause people to melt and explode plague Australia.
A Boy and His Dog 2 Slimes Don Johnson wanders around after the apocalypse with a telepathic dog.
The Brain 2 Slimes A hideous brain creature takes over people's minds through TV.
The Brain from Planet Arous 3 Slimes John Agar is taken over by a huge and sexually deviant space brain!
The Brain That Wouldn't Die 4 Slimes A scientist shops around for a new body for his girlfriend (who is a head in a pan).
Brain Damage 3 Slimes Brain eating parasite which also injects people with hallucinogenic drugs.
Breakin' 3 Slimes A trio of street dancers turn the world of rhythm upside down (probably spinning on its head).
Brides of Blood 2 Slimes A radioactive monster makes love to women so hard that they fall apart.
Buck Rogers 2 Slimes Buck Rogers awakes to a world in need of a womanizing hero.
The Buddhist Fist 3 Slimes Buddha spent a lot of time practicing kung fu.
THE LETTER C
MOVIE NAMERATINGSYNOPSIS
Candy Skull Flee, flee for your lives!
Cane Toads 3 Slimes Probably the most twisted documentary ever made.
Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death 2 Slimes Savage feminists eat men with gaucamolle dip.
The Car 2 Slimes Lucifer's vehicle is terrorizing the residents of Southern California, all forty of them.
Carnosaur 3 Slimes Genetic scientist creates chicken eggs that infect women, causing them to become pregnant with dinosaurs.
The Cars that Ate Paris Skull An Australian town runs people off the road to profit from the wrecked cars.
Cat-Women of the Moon 3 Slimes Earth's satellite is inhabited by frisky females wearing black leotards!
The Cave of the Silken Web 3 Slimes If Bollywood ever made a "Dragon Ball" movie...
Cavegirl 2 Slimes A nerd travels back in time and meets a beautiful cavegirl.
Cemetery Man 3 Slimes Francesco must stop the zombies which infest his graveyard.
The Champions of Justice 4 Slimes Blue Demon and his friends must stop Black Hand's army of super midgets. SUPER MIDGETS!
Cherry 2000 3 Slimes Your synthetic female love slave might not be the real thing, but it's a darn good facsimile.
The Children 2 Slimes They have been turned into monsters by a radioactive cloud!
Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things 2 Slimes A group of thespians (not the cooler "L" word mind you) become zombie chow.
Chosen Survivors 2 Slimes "Yay, we're going to survive the nuclear war! Gah! BATS!"
C.H.U.D. 2 Slimes Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers consume New Yorkers.
City of the Walking Dead 1 Slime Bloodsucking zombies created by a nuclear accident take over a city.
City Limits 2 Slimes Youth motorcycle gangs fight what is left of Corporate America in a future where plague has killed most adults.
Class of Nuke 'Em High 2 Slimes Music and TV is not ruining your kids, nuclear energy is!
Class of Nuke 'Em High Part II: Subhumanoid Meltdown 3 Slimes Women with mouths where their bellybuttons should be, how sexy.
The Conqueror 2 Slimes John Wayne is...Genghis Khan.
Cool As Ice 1 Slime The Vanilla Ice movie - beware.
The Cosmic Man 2 Slimes "The Day the Earth Stood Fidgeting."
Crash and Burn 1 Slime A small group of people try to survive the assault of one murderous robot.
The Crawling Eye 3 Slimes Switzerland is attacked by telepathic alien creatures which must live in extreme cold and are radioactive.
Creatures from the Abyss 3 Slimes Mutated fish eat some people.
Creature from the Haunted Sea 1 Slime Possibly the dumbest-looking monster ever.
The Creeping Terror 1 Slime Possibly the slowest monster ever.
The Crippled Masters 4 Slimes Two Kung Fu masters, one without arms the other without legs, fight an evil warlord who has a metal hump on his back.
Cthulhu Mansion 1 Slime A haunted house consumes gang members. This movie has an amazing number of mistakes.
The Curse of Count Chocula 1 Slime The vampire that hates blood, but loves chocolate.
Cyber Ninja 2 Slimes Namco made a movie. It has lasers, samurai swords, and very little coherence.
Cyborg 2 3 Slimes Jack Palance: warrior, cyborg, and poet. Believe it, or not...
Cyborg Soldier 3 Slimes The government tries to make cyborg soldiers out of condemned criminals, with the expected results.
THE LETTER D
MOVIE NAMERATINGSYNOPSIS
Dagon 3 Slimes Fish incest!
Daimajin 3 Slimes A giant stone statue comes to life and destroys an evil samurai's army.
The Dark Lurking 1 Slime It's "DOOM" down under, mate.
The Dark Power 3 Slimes Four ancient indian sorcerers arise from the dead and battle Lash LaRue.
Dark Star 3 Slimes John Carpenter's first "real" film. Ever see an alien made out of a beach ball?
Date With A Vampire 1 Slime You finally find that special woman to have a one-night stand with and she turns out to be a bloodsucker.
Dawn of the Dead 4 Slimes The dead taking over the world really isn't funny, unless you consider zombies on escalators.
Day of the Animals 3 Slimes Animals become savage killers after the ozone layer is damaged.
Day of the Warrior 3 Slimes The busty (and often naked) ladies of L.E.T.H.A.L. defend America from a criminal with indian ancestors.
The Day Time Ended 1 Slime A timewarp and special effects artists torment a family.
Dead Alive 4 Slimes AWESOME! A lawn mower wielding lad and a kung fu Catholic priest battle zombies!
Death Race 2000 4 Slimes David Carradine and Sylvester Stallone are drivers in a futuristic cross-country car race. Their goal: run over pedestrians.
Death Ship Skull A cursed Nazi ship and George Kennedy kill people.
Deathstalker 3 Slimes One of the better 80s sword and sorcery flicks, and it had plenty of nude women.
Delicatessen 3 Slimes Very odd French film about a building where they eat the handyman every now and then.
Demon Wind 2 Slimes Demons try to steal the souls from a group of people.
Destroy All Monsters 4 Slimes Three hundred percent more kaiju!
Devil Girl From Mars 2 Slimes The women of Mars are highly advanced and in need of men.
The Devil's Rain 1 Slime William Shatner and Tom Skerritt must stop a satanic cult led by Ernest Borgnine and John Travolta (no, I'm not joking).
Disco Godfather 2 Slimes "Put your weight on it!"
Dolemite 4 Slimes Rudy Ray Moore is the proud pimp of one dozen kung fu hookers.
DOOM 2 Slimes The Rock is a space Marine who loves to scream, "Kill them all!"
Double Dragon 1 Slime Two kickboxing brothers (one of which is Scott Wolf) must stop Koga Shuko from joining the parts of an ancient amulet.
Dragonball: The Magic Begins 2 Slimes The live action Dragonball Z movie.
Dr. Alien 2 Slimes Alien scientists use experimental sex drugs on a college nerd.
Dr. Phibes Rises Again 3 Slimes Phibes is back and this time it's no more Mr. Nice Revenant.
Dreamcatcher 2 Slimes Fanged, funky butt worms!
Drunken Wu Tang 4 Slimes Insane Kung Fu movie, Rat Face (that's his name) and Cha Le battle Devil, the Watermelon Monster, and a fat woman.
The Dungeonmaster 1 Slime Computer geek versus Satan.
The Dunwich Horror 1 Slime Cultist attempts to resurrect ancient gods. The real horror here is the acting.
THE LETTER E
MOVIE NAMERATINGSYNOPSIS
Eat and Run 2 Slimes Overweight alien visits earth, after hearing how good Italian is he tries some. To bad it's people, not the cooking.
The Educational Archives: Driver's Ed 4 Slimes A menagerie of short films with drunk drivers smashing into telephone poles, doomed pedestrians, and even talking cars!
The Educational Archives: Sex & Drugs 3 Slimes An assortment of classroom films featuring giant sanitary napkins, Italians with syphilis, and a talking hot dog.
Eegah! 1 Slime Richard Kiel stars as a caveman in modern day Palm Springs.
El Topo 4 Slimes In the chaotic history of cult films there are several legendary movies. This bizarre story is one of them.
Eliminators 2 Slimes Remember that movie with the cyborg/tank?
Elves 1 Slime An elf - bred by the Nazis. (This really is the plot.)
Endless Descent 2 Slimes An experimental submarine encounters killer seaweed and mutants galore.
Escape 2000 3 Slimes Prisoners at a government work camp are hunted for sport.
The Evil Dead 2 Slimes Evil spirits steal the souls from Ash and his camper friends.
Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn 4 Slimes Awesome fun! Evil spirits threaten Ash again, but this time he has an attitude and a chainsaw.
Evil Spawn 1 Slime Lynn tries an experimental youth serum and turns into a monster.
THE LETTER F
MOVIE NAMERATINGSYNOPSIS
Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! 4 Slimes The classic story of mean girls, in fast cars, looking for danger and finding it.
Feast 3 Slimes Hungry beasts besiege a dusty desert bar.
Feeders Skull I cannot decide which I hate more: the movie or the actor's socks.
Fiend Without a Face 4 Slimes Canada is invaded by hopping brain monsters.
Fist of the North Star 4 Slimes When Ken punches people they explode...
Five Element Ninjas 4 Slimes Kung fu vs. ninjas. Wonderfully inventive, surprisingly bloody, and almost unbelievably fun!
Flash Gordon 4 Slimes Silly special effects, ludicrous acting, and Brian Blessed for crying out loud!
The Flesh Eaters 3 Slimes Another reason to stay out of the water.
Flesh Gordon 2 1 Slime How high is your tolerance for toilet humor and breast jokes?
The Fly 4 Slimes If you do not at least know of this movie then you must be a space alien.
Flying Guillotine 2 Slimes Kung fu mayhem breaks out when the emperor trains assassins to use this deadly weapon.
For Your Height Only 3 Slimes The Philippines has a secret weapon you never dreamed of, a midget super spy!
The Forbidden Dance is Lambada 2 Slimes Dirty dancing can save the rainforest.
Forbidden Zone 4 Slimes When the Elfmans make a movie with Herve Villachez you know it is going to be weird.
Frankenhooker 3 Slimes Mad scientist rebuilds his girlfriend from prostitute spare parts.
Fright Show 1 Slime Four short films in the horror and science fiction category hosted by two complete idiots.
Future Force 2 Slimes David Carradine is a bounty hunter whose robotic arm hates your crotch.
Future War 1 Slime Time-traveling cyborgs use dinosaurs to hunt a flannel-wearing kickboxer who only speaks "Bible."
THE LETTER G
MOVIE NAMERATINGSYNOPSIS
Galactic Gigolo 1 Slime An alien wins a trip to Earth. Sex with human women is included in the vacation package.
Galactica 1980: Series Pilot 1 Slime The fleet finally reaches planet Earth.
Galaxina 2 Slimes The intergalactic patrol ship Infinity is sent to the far side of the universe to recover the BLUE STAR. "Ahhhhaaaahhhh!"
Galaxy of Terror 3 Slimes Where else can you see a giant maggot sucking the clothes off of a buxom blonde?
Gamera 2 Slimes Nuclear weapons wake up one very large and exceptionally unhappy turtle.
Gamera vs Gaos 3 Slimes The giant turtle tangles with the biggest vampire bat you ever did see.
Gamera: Guardian of the Universe 4 Slimes A fantastic giant monster movie.
Gamera vs Guiron 4 Slimes In space nobody can hear you make turtle soup.
The Garbage Pail Kids Movie Skull My viewing habits are best described as "painful," at times.
Getting Lucky 2 Slimes A leprechaun helps a nerd win the girl of his dreams.
Ghosts of Mars 1 Slime When did John Carpenter stop making good movies, and why wasn't I informed?
The Giant Behemoth 2 Slimes Radioactive dinosaur menaces London.
The Giant Claw 4 Slimes Earth is attacked by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD!
The Giant Gila Monster 2 Slimes Huge lizard attacks model railroads, model cars, model barns, and hotrodding teenagers.
GI Samurai Skull A small Japanese Defense Force unit is transported back in time. That descriptive phrase is cooler than the entire movie I assure you.
Godzilla 2000 2 Slimes Godzilla fights a flying blue nose from outer space.
Godzilla: Final Wars 3 Slimes Aliens attempt to conquer the Earth, but a flying battleship wakes Godzilla to protect us from the other monsters.
Godzilla, King of the Monsters 3 Slimes Even with the awkward insertion of Raymond Burr, the American version of "Gojira" is worth viewing.
Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah 3 Slimes When time travelers fool around with Godzilla's past he is none too happy, but can he destroy their super monster?
Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla 3 Slimes Godzilla gets a helping hand from the biggest damn Pekinese you ever saw.
Godzilla vs. Megaguirus 2 Slimes Gorgeous layouts and shots of Godzilla, but his opponent sucked.
Godzilla vs. Monster Zero 4 Slimes Godzilla must battle King Ghidrah and Devo aliens to save Earth, then he gets to "Safety Dance."
Godzilla vs. Mothra 3 Slimes One of the "Godzilla as a natural disaster movies." Japan's only hope is a huge moth and her egg.
Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster 2 Slimes Godzilla is up against Hedorah and 70's music; things look bad.
Godz of Wu Tang 2 Slimes Magical rocking horses, killer mimes, and brothers who look nothing alike.
The Gore Gore Girls 2 Slimes Somebody is killing strippers and they're being plenty inventive about it!
Graveyard Shift 2 Slimes An old mill is infested with rats, but something much worse lives in the basement.
Greaser's Palace 4 Slimes One of the strangest movies about religion you will ever see.
The Green Slime 3 Slimes Space Station Gamma 3 is under attack by electric jello monsters.
Gunhed 2 Slimes That would you do with a transformable tank that drinks whiskey?
Gwendoline 2 Slimes Tawny Kitaen stumbles upon a secret kingdom of female warriors who wear leather thong bikinis.
Gymkata 4 Slimes How many villages have a pommel horse?
THE LETTER H
MOVIE NAMERATINGSYNOPSIS
Halloween III 2 Slimes And this has what to do with the other "Halloween" movies?
Hard Rock Zombies 2 Slimes A band comes back from the dead to kill Hitler, who then joins the zombie ranks.
Hawk the Slayer 4 Slimes Talk about off the wall sword and sorcery films; fluorescent bouncy balls? (Hehehehehehe!)
Head of the Family 1 Slime A movie based on a pun. Not good.
Heartbeeps Skull This movie will stimulate your pain circuits. Thank you very much.
Heavy Metal 2000 1 Slime Maybe they should have drawn this with crayons.
Hedwig and the Angry Inch 3 Slimes The musical chronicle of a glam rocker whose botched sex change left her not quite a he, nor a she.
Hell Comes to Frogtown 3 Slimes Roddy Piper is one of the last fertile men on an Earth infested with bipedal toads.
Hercules (1983) 3 Slimes Lou Ferrigno confronts numerous mechanical monsters in his quest to defeat King Minos.
Hideous! 3 Slimes Things that go bump in the toilet.
High School Ghosthustlers 1 Slime Japanese schoolgirls take on a bunch of horny ghosts.
Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers 2 Slimes Almost two hours of naked women chopping up men with chainsaws...
The Horror of Party Beach 3 Slimes Did that bass/man choke to death on hotdogs?
Horror Planet 2 Slimes At least there were cute alien babies.
House II: The Second Story 2 Slimes Jesse digs up his great great grandfather's grave and discovers a magical crystal skull.
House of the Dead 1 Slimes "Zombie Island Rave Massacre" does not have the same ring to it, nor a guaranteed video game fanboy audience.
Howard the Duck 3 Slimes Only one thing can save Cleveland from destruction: a midget in a duck suit!
Howling II 2 Slimes Christopher Lee battles werewolves whose sole weakness is titanium.
Howling III: The Marsupials 2 Slimes This would have been better if they had been werekangaroos.
The Human Tornado 2 Slimes Dolemite is back!
Humanoids from the Deep 3 Slimes Fish monsters need love too.
Hundra 4 Slimes The feminist barbarian.
Hybrid 2 Slimes Three words guys: Lesbian Shower Scene.
Hysterical 1 Slime "What difference does it make?"
THE LETTER I
MOVIE NAMERATINGSYNOPSIS
I Love Maria 2 Slimes She has the cutest diodes.
I Married a Monster from Outer Space 3 Slimes A new bride learns that her husband is an impotent alien in the mood for love.
Infra-Man 4 Slimes Can he save the Earth from Princess Dragon Mom?
In Service to America Skull Plot? What Plot?
Invader 2 Slimes A right-wing-nut-job software program from outer space tries to take over the United States of America (God bless her).
Invasion of the Animal People 3 Slimes Sweden is under attack by aliens and their pet Sasquatch!
The Iron Monkey 3 Slimes A young student learns Monkey Fist style.
The Island at the Top of the World 2 Slimes Explorers find a lost Norse colony.
THE LETTER J
MOVIE NAMERATINGSYNOPSIS
Jacker II Skull What would you do if you were indestructible? Steal cars, maybe?
Jack Frost 3 Slimes A psychopathic murderer is reincarnated as a killer snowman.
Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter 2 Slimes The Saviour, El Santos, vampires, and a whole lot of weirdness.
Journey to the Seventh Planet 3 Slimes Visitors to Uranus find that their greatest fears and desires are made flesh.
Jungle Hell Skull I don't understand the plot, but there were lots of elephants.
THE LETTER K
MOVIE NAMERATINGSYNOPSIS
Killer Klowns from Outer Space 4 Slimes Aliens that look like demented clowns turn a town into cotton candy snacks!
The Killer Shrews 4 Slimes The "shrews" are dogs wearing old rugs and scary masks, and they are eating everything in sight!
The Killing of Satan 3 Slimes Filipino Catholics use their magic powers to fight the Devil.
KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park 3 Slimes KISS uses their magic powers to fight robots and werewolves.
Krull 3 Slimes Swords, sorcery, aliens, lasers, and even a remote control 10,000rpm throwing star.
Kung Fu of Eight Drunkards 2 Slimes Young man learns the art of fighting "as if drunk" from an old master.
THE LETTER L
MOVIE NAMERATINGSYNOPSIS
The Lair of the White Worm 2 Slimes Hugh Grant takes on the depraved minions of an evil god, God save the Queen from snakes (or something like that).
Lake Placid 2 Slimes Bill Pullman and Bridget Fonda try to catch a fig bucking crocodile.
The Land that Time Forgot 3 Slimes Dinosaurs eating Germans, and Germans eating dinosaurs.
Lap Dancing 1 Slimes\ Naive farm girl takes a job stripping and learns how to be an actress...
Laserblast 2 Slimes Billy was always getting bullied until he found the Nerf Gun of Ultimate Destruction.
Last Days of Planet Earth 1 Slime Armageddon!
The Last Dinosaur 2 Slimes Big game hunter goes looking for a prehistoric trophy.
The Last Dragon 3 Slimes Bruce Leroy is looking for the final level of kung fu: The Glow.
Leeches! Skull Giant leeches molest the members of a boy's swim team.
Legend of the Overfiend 3 Slimes This is some seriously warped tentacle hentai.
The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires 3 Slimes Peter Cushing, vampires, virgins, and kung fu. Now there's a plot!
Leprechaun 2 Slimes Jennifer Aniston learns why you should never steal the wee little people's gold.
Leprechaun 2 2 Slimes The little people need love too.
Leprechaun 3 2 Slimes The greedy Irish spirit causes trouble in Vegas.
Leprechaun 4: In Space 3 Slimes Interstellar rhyming carnage!
LEXX: I Worship His Shadow 3 Slimes A vixen who is part "cluster lizard," a talking robot head, and an undead Brunnen-G. Man, this is one weird flick.
The Lift 1 Slime It's a killer elevator movie!
Light Years 3 Slimes "In a thousand years Gandahar was destroyed. A thousand years ago Gandahar will be saved and what can't be avoided will be."
Liquid Sky Skull Aliens searching for heroin on Earth find that brains taste better.
The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra 1 Slime Don't try to parody something being cheap and stupid, that everyone already recognizes as being cheap and stupid, by being cheap and stupid.
THE LETTER M
MOVIE NAMERATINGSYNOPSIS
Maleorvs Skull High school students release an ancient Greek demon.
Maniac 4 Slimes Dear God, I want to get naked and strangle a manatee for mother! MOTHER!
The Manitou 3 Slimes Karen's big pimple turns out to be an evil Native American medicine man being reborn.
Manos, the Hands of Fate Skull The Master and his many wives are the servants of Manos. I think that Manos is the god of boredom.
Mark of the Astro-Zombies 1 Slime Aliens use machete-wielding creations to attack the Earth.
Master of the Flying Guillotine 4 Slimes What is the sound of one fist punching a blind monk?
Masters of the Universe 2 Slimes I have the POWER!
Matango - Attack of the Mushroom People 2 Slimes Shipwreck survivors find an island full of aggressive portobellos.
Maximum Overdrive 4 Slimes Yes, the toaster wants to kill you.
Meet the Feebles 4 Slimes Warped movie about puppets doing drugs and having sex Probably makes Jim Henson turn over in his grave.
Megaforce 3 Slimes The secret to freedom is motorcycles armed with missiles.
Mega Piranha 3 Slimes Tiffany did it.
Meridian 1 Slimes Werewolf booty call.
Message from Space 3 Slimes The Japanese version of "Star Wars."
Microwave Massacre 3 Slimes A cannibal, his women, and a microwave.
The Midnight Hour 3 Slimes Vampires, zombies, and other monsters run rampant on Halloween.
Millennium 2 Slimes Time travel, plane crashes, and a character named Louise Baltimore. Oh my.
Missile to the Moon 2 Slimes Moon women and moon spiders and rock monsters! Oh, my!
Mom and Dad Save the World 3 Slimes Can Jeffrey Jones stop Jon Lovitz from destroying Earth?
Mongrel Skull Mad dog! Er, man...
Monster 1 Slime I usually like monster movies, but this was torture.
The Monster that Challenged the World 3 Slimes The US Navy battles killer gastropods in the middle of a desert.
Monster High 2 Slimes High school students must defeat Armageddon's basketball team or the Earth will be destroyed.
Moon 44 2 Slimes What is so strange about a galactic (meaning outer space) mining company using convicts to pilot helicopters?
Mortal Kombat: Annihilation 1 Slime Most video game movies suck, but this is worse than normal.
Mosquito 3 Slimes Gunnar Hanson battles huge mosquitos!
Motel Hell 3 Slimes "Sweeny Todd," but with beef jerky and Rory Calhoun.
The Mummy 3 Slimes Boris Karloff and Edward Van Sloan make this movie a classic.
Munchies 1 Slime Hungry little gremlins.
Mutant Skull Vampires created by toxic waste who suck blood through their palms.
The Mutilator 2 Slimes Death by outboard motor!
My Demon Lover 2 Slimes Girl falls in love with a guy who tranforms into a demon when aroused.
My Little Pony: The Movie Skull Why do all of the ponies have tramp stamps?
THE LETTER N
MOVIE NAMERATINGSYNOPSIS
Nail Gun Massacre Skull Sweet pneumatic-driven pain!
Neon Maniacs 1 Slime Killers who are allergic to water infest the Golden Gate Bridge.
The Neverending Story III 1 Slime A gang of bad kids steals the book and makes nasty things happen.
New Kansas 2 Slimes "The Wizard of Oz" meets "GoodFellas" - in a blender.
Nightbeast 3 Slimes A redneck alien reptoid lands in Maryland.
Night of the Blood Beast 2 Slimes Ever seen a pregnant man?
Night of the Demon 3 Slimes Cool movie, great monster.
Night Hunter 2 Slimes Don "The Dragon" Wilson must kill all the vampires (by breaking their necks) before they can breed.
Night of the Lepus 2 Slimes Doctor McCoy helps save the world from a herd of giant killer rabbits.
Night of the Living Dead 3 Slimes The grandfather of modern zombie films.
Night of the Zombies Skull It is the stupid people versus the zombies, and the undead are winning.
Nine Deaths of the Ninja 3 Slimes Forget the rest of the movie, except for the midget attack squad, who thought up that crazy opening credits sequence?
Ninja Wars 3 Slimes Insane ninja warfare, including a projectile vomiting ninja attack!
Nosferatu: The First Vampire 3 Slimes The classic vampire movie set to a metal/gothic soundtrack.
Nude on the Moon 2 Slimes This is, surprisingly enough, about a nudist colony on the moon.
THE LETTER O
MOVIE NAMERATINGSYNOPSIS
Oasis of the Zombies 1 Slime Boredom of the audience.
Oblivion 2 Slimes Science fiction meets the old west.
Octopus Skull Guess what the monster is. No, really...
Ol' Dirty Kung Fu 2 Slimes Young student learns Kung Fu from the famous master "Bamboo Stick."
Orca 3 Slimes Gosh, that is a smart whale.
Orgazmo 3 Slimes Probably the only Mormon/Porno/Superhero movie you will ever find.
Over-Sexed Rugsuckers from Mars 1 Slime The title grabs your attention, doesn't it?
THE LETTER P
MOVIE NAMERATINGSYNOPSIS
Parasite 2 Slimes Demi Moore fights gangs, merchants, and killer tadpoles. She probably wants to forget this movie.
Party Crasher 1 Slime There is a party and some girls crash it, what that has to do with the movie is beyond me.
Peepers Skull I never want to see this film again.
Penitentiary 3 Slimes Once you get past the male rape scenes, it is a pretty good boxing movie.
Petey Wheatstraw: The Devil's Son-In-Law 3 Slimes Rudy Ray Moore is back at it, this time as a comedian/kung fu master who made a terrible pact with Lucifer.
Phase IV 2 Slimes Smart ants, smart ants, smart ants, smart ants, smart ants...
Pigs Skull AWFUL movie about pigs being fed human flesh.
The Pink Angels 2 Slimes Transvestite bikers encounter America, and it's full of PIGS.
Piranha 3 Slimes "Razorteeth" created by the Government (to win the Vietnam War no less) get loose and eat campers.
Piranha II 2 Slimes The fish are back and now they can fly!
The Pit 1 Slime Psycho kid feeds people he doesn't like to monsters in a pit.
Planet of the Apes 4 Slimes Charlton Heston finds out what will happen if every American doesn't own a firearm.
Plan 9 from Outer Space 4 Slimes Aliens wish to destroy Earth before we discover a bomb which explodes sunlight.
Please Don't Eat My Mother 1 Slime Henry accidentally grew a talking man-eating (potentially mother-eating) plant.
Poultrygeist 3 Slimes Never build a fried chicken restaurant on top of an Indian burial ground.
Prince of Space 2 Slimes He is so awesome, they named the movie after him.
Princess Warrior 1 Slime Princess warrior: maybe. Laser swords: kinda. People driving around, and driving around, and driving around: yes.
Prisoners of the Lost Universe 2 Slimes Dimensional travel has never been so confusing...
Prophecy 2 Slimes A mutated grizzly bear slaughters people in Maine.
Psycho Beach Party 3 Slimes Is Chicklet a murderer or just a sick young woman?
Pulse 1 Slime Evil electricity tries to kill Matthew Lawrence.
The Punisher 2 Slimes Be good or else he will shoot you.
Puppet Master 3 Slimes Animated puppets slaughter a group of psychics.
Puppet Master II 3 Slimes The Puppet Master needs brains and when the Puppet Master needs brains people die!
Puppet Master III 1 Slime Andre Toulon was nice until the Nazis killed his wife.
THE LETTER Q
MOVIE NAMERATINGSYNOPSIS
Q: The Winged Serpent 2 Slimes A resurrected Aztec god terrorizes New York City.
THE LETTER R
MOVIE NAMERATINGSYNOPSIS
Radioactive Dreams 3 Slimes Michael Dudikoff and John Stockwell are detectives in a post nuclear world ruled by freaks and disco mutants.
Raiders of the Living Dead 1 Slime A reporter is chased by zombies.
Raiders of Wu Tang 4 Slimes A young student must master twenty-four bronze horses (who have powerful kung fu) to defend Shaolin.
Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer 1 Slime Ask me again how I did not go insane watching this movie.
Rats: Night of Terror 2 Slimes Rats shall inherit the Earth.
Rebirth of Mothra 2 Slimes A big moth, some little women, and two kids.
Red Sonja 2 Slimes She dislikes men, and hates Arnold Schwarzenegger's ex-girlfriend.
Redneck Zombies 3 Slimes Hicks drink moonshine contaminated with toxic waste, it turns them into people-munching undead!
Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins 3 Slimes La Femme Fred Ward. And who could forget Chiun?
Reptilicus 4 Slimes What happens when one giant rubber snake takes a wrong turn and ends up attacking Copenhagen vice Tokyo.
The Resurrected 4 Slimes Lovecraft-inspired movies often suck. This is one of the good ones.
Return of the Living Dead 4 Slimes Send more paramedics!
Return to Frogtown 1 Slime What, no Rowdy Roddy Piper?
Road House 3 Slimes Patrick Swayze: philosopher, lover, bouncer.
Robo C.H.I.C. Skull Arrgggghhhhhhhhh!
Robot Monster 4 Slimes Earth is brought to it's knees by one horny alien in a gorilla suit.
Rock 'n' Roll Frankenstein 2 Slimes Record producer and mad scientist create a rock star from the parts of Elvis, Jimi Hendrix, and - by accident - Liberace.
Rock n Roll Nightmare 3 Slimes Thor! must battle Satan to save humanity, this movie is amazingly bad.
Rock'n With Satan 1 Slime The Devil offers to make two young men into good musicians.
The Rocky Horror Picture Show 4 Slimes The grandma cult movie of them all. Watch as Brad and Janet fall prey to the lust of alien transvestites.
Rodan 4 Slimes Two giant monsters threaten mankind's existence;a great movie from the folks at Toho.
Rollerball 4 Slimes Skates, motorcycles, a heavy metal shot, and violence: tomorrow's sport?
THE LETTER S
MOVIE NAMERATINGSYNOPSIS
Santa Claus 4 Slimes A devil named Pitch is sent to stop Santa, but the jolly man in red has two things on his side: child labor and wacky spying devices.
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians 3 Slimes Can Saint Nick overcome evil invaders from space, a robot, and Pia Zadora?
Saturn 3 2 Slimes Somebody save me from old, naked Kirk Douglas - in space.
Sea Beast 2 Slimes Parker Lewis goes up against an invisible fish monster.
Screamers (1979) 2 Slimes A scientist creates creatures that are half fish and half man.
Seedpeople 1 Slime Extraterrestrial flowers take root in California and begin pollinating human beings.
Sextette Skull Mae West, over eighty and still acting like Mae West. Ick, ick, ick...
Sgt Kabukiman N.Y.P.D. 3 Slimes A New York cop accidently becomes man's only hope against evil, a Super-Kabuki!
The Shape of Things to Come 2 Slimes Jack Palance stars as the evil robot overlord in a movie we fondly call "Blinky, Blinky."
Shark Attack 3: Megalodon 3 Slime3 How do you kill a fifty-ton shark that should be, but most emphatically is not, extinct?
Shark Hunter 1 Slime We're going to need a better movie.
Sheena 3 Slimes Painted horses, killer flamingos, and Tanya Roberts.
Shock Treatment 1 Slime Brad and Janet appear on a reality TV show that threatens to commit him and corrupt her.
Shockwave (AI Assault) 1 Slime Intelligent hunter-killer robots get loose on a tropical island.
Silent Night, Deadly Night 3 Slimes Punish!
Silent Night, Deadly Night Part II 2 Slimes Punish again, but recap the first movie too!
The Sinful Nuns of Saint Valentine 2 Slimes Also known as "Mother Superior Jumped the Other Nuns."
Sins of the Fleshapoids Skull WTF?
The Sisterhood 3 Slimes Amazon women with psychic powers struggle to survive in the barren wastelands after a nuclear war.
Six-String Samurai 3 Slimes After nuclear war in 1957 Elvis became king, now he has died and a brave samurai rocker must battle Death for the throne.
Skeeter 1 Slime Giant mosquitos, created by toxic waste, attack a desert town.
Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity 1 Slimes This movie has one redeeming quality: female nudity.
Sleepstalker 2 Slimes Evil killer returns to slay his brother, only this time he is made of sand.
Sleepwalkers 2 Slimes Can your house cat protect you from incestuous, soul-sucking, feline monsters?
The Slime People 2 Slimes They have invaded Los Angeles, stockpile weapons and salt!
Slither 4 Slimes Freakish and funny, but what invasion by alien brain worms wouldn't be?
Slugs 2 Slimes Killer slugs! Really, I mean it. Why are you laughing?
The Slumber Party Massacre 3 Slimes Just once I'd like to see some boobies and not get killed for my trouble.
Solarbabies 2 Slimes A glowing orb helps the members of a rollerskate team free the Earth's water.
Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama 1 Slime Teenagers (played by actors in their thirties) release a demonic imp from its bowling trophy prison.
Sorority House Vampires from Hell Skull A vampiress rises from her grave. The audience suffers.
Soul Vengeance 1 Slime When a man can use his penis to strangle people the audience suffers.
The Sound of Horror 2 Slimes A Spanish film about invisible dinosaurs in Greece.
Space Mutiny 3 Slimes The Southern Sun is under attack by cackling megalomaniacs and "Battlestar Galactica" stock footage.
Spaced Invaders 3 Slimes A truly funny alien invasion film. ZIM fanboys take note.
Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone 2 Slimes Just the name makes you shiver, doesn't it?
Spaceship 2 Slimes In space no one can hear Leslie Nielsen scream.
The Spirit 1 Slime I don't mind a monologue with my movie, but I do like some movie with my monologue.
Spookies 2 Slimes How many silly monsters can fit into one movie?
Squirm 2 Slimes A small town in Georgia is attacked by killer worms.
Starcrash 4 Slimes Incredibly bad space opera. Where else could you find David Hasselhoff using a lightsaber?
Star Crystal 1 Slime An alien slime monster reads the Bible and discovers that killing people is wrong.
Starship 1 Slime Rebels fight football droids in the distant future.
Star Odyssey 1 Slime Earth is under attack by an army of androids that look like members of Lady Gaga's Dutch fan club!
The Star Wars Holiday Special Skull Okay, so he did make something worse than Episode 1.
Stealth Fighter 1 Slime Satellite weapons and Ice-T flying an F-117, this movie is not what you would call "firmly rooted in reality."
Sting of Death 1 Slime Do the jellyfish. It's really swella.
Stop It, You're Killing Me 1 Slimes There are more references to sleeping with a hundred and twelve year old man than can be healthy.
Story of Ricky 4 Slimes AMAZINGLY GORY Kung Fu movie!
The Strangeness 2 Slimes Miners get eaten by a monster that looks like a stop motion vagina.
Strays 2 Slimes A pack of killer house cats is on the loose.
Street Fighter 2 Slimes Now, why did I not think of casting Raul Julia as Bison?
Streets of Fire 4 Slimes An incredible mix of music, violence, and dialog.
Street Trash 3 Slimes Bums melt into puddles of goo after drinking contaminated whiskey.
Student Bodies 3 Slimes Can teen sex survive "The Breather" and horse head bookends?
The Stuff 3 Slimes Killer dessert! It takes over your body, but has 50% less fat.
Superman IV 1 Slime The "Man of Nuclear Disarmament."
Super Fuzz 2 Slimes Officer Dave Speed can run as fast as a car, catch bullets with his teeth, see through walls, and talk to fish. Supah-sssuuuppaaah!
Super Mario Bros. 1 Slime Frank Booth hates plumbers.
The Sword and the Sorcerer 3 Slimes That sword makes me tired just looking at it.
Syngenor 1 Slime What if Enron had created mutant monsters?
THE LETTER T
MOVIE NAMERATINGSYNOPSIS
Tales Til the End 1 Slime An experimental gas is destroying civilization, but these three sit around telling stories.
Tammy and the T-Rex 2 Slimes Denise Richards stars in the touching story about a girl and her robotic dinosaur.
Tarantula 3 Slimes A huge spider menaces southern Arizona.
Tarantulas: The Deadly Cargo 1 Slime Because it sounds better than "Phoneutria nigriventer: The Deadly Cargo."
Tarkan vs. the Vikings 4 Slimes The Norsemen are here, and they're wearing bath rugs!
Teenage Catgirls in Heat 1 Slime Great title, bad movie.
Teenage Caveman (1958) 2 Slimes More like "Teenage Cavelawyer."
Teenage Caveman (2002) Skull This remake sucks f**k.
Teenage Space Vampires 1 Slime Lord Vlathos wants to enslave the Earth by trapping every drop of sunlight in a huge diamond!
Terror Beneath the Sea 4 Slimes Water cyborgs! Overacting! "And I'm GOING IN!"
Terror of Mechagodzilla 3 Slimes The robot monster is rebuilt: better, faster, and stronger.
The Terror of Tiny Town 4 Slimes 1938 B&W western with an all midget cast. (I'm not joking one bit.)
Terror on the Wind 1 Slime People are threatened by a giant tumbleweed.
TerrorVision 3 Slimes A monster materializes out of a family's new satellite dish system.
Test Tube Babies 3 Slimes Because "Artificial Insemination Kids" did not have the same ring to it.
Them Damn Zombies 1 Slime Zombies eat some rednecks. Rednecks shoot some zombies.
There's Nothing Out There 4 Slimes Mike is the man!
Thriller: A Cruel Picture 3 Slimes It's an angry hooker with a sawed-off double-barreled shotgun! Run! RUN!
Ticks 2 Slimes Giant ticks created by herbal steroids menace a youth group.
Time Runner 1 Slime Somebody travel back and warn Mark Hamill about this movie.
The Tingler 3 Slimes Scream, scream for your lives!
The Toxic Avenger 3 Slimes New Jersey's superhero battles evil, finds love, and cleans up city hall.
The Toxic Avenger Part II 1 Slime Troma's favorite mutant takes a trip to Japan.
Toxic Spawn 1 Slime Alien avocados make people explode like ripe ticks!
Transformers: The Movie 3 Slimes "You've got the touch!"
Transylvania 6-5000 2 Slimes Reporters try to find out why Geena Davis is a nymphomaniac vampire.
The Trial of Billy Jack Skull Now this was a bad movie.
Troll 1 Slime An evil troll is plotting to turn our world into one big fairy forest.
Troll II 2 Slimes Goblins (not trolls) turn people into plants so they can be eaten.
Tromeo & Juliet 3 Slimes Don't you remember the lesbians in the original version?
THE LETTER U
MOVIE NAMERATINGSYNOPSIS
Uncle Sam 1 Slime A soldier returns from the dead to kill people on the 4th of July.
The Undertaker and His Pals 3 Slimes Just killing some people to improve business.
Uninvited 4 Slimes A killer mutant cat that hides inside another cat.
Unknown Island 2 Slimes Another example why malaria, alcoholism, and dinosaurs don't mix.
Unknown Origin 1 Slime Awful underwater rip-off of "The Thing."
Up from the Depths 1 Slime Huge fish threatens a resort full of morons.
Urban Warriors Skull I am firmly against nuclear war if it means people are going to make movies like this.
U.S. Seals II 3 Slimes Even Steven Seagal thinks this film's script is ridiculous.
USS VD: Ship of Shame 3 Slimes A 1942 DOD VD training film.
THE LETTER V
MOVIE NAMERATINGSYNOPSIS
Vampire Men of the Lost Planet 3 Slimes Three different films (one of them a Filipino caveman flick) cobbled together. Impressive, very impressive.
Vampyres 2 Slimes Lesbian vampires! Well, actually I guess they're bisexual.
The Video Dead 2 Slimes Zombies escape from a cursed television (the ultimate in 3-D).
Video Violence 2 Slimes Why are the people of this little town so interested in gory movies?
Voodoo Academy Skull Voodoo? Not really. Guys in whitie-tighties? Yes.
THE LETTER W
MOVIE NAMERATINGSYNOPSIS
Waiting for the Giants 1 Slime Giants are people with mental powers and they are distrusted by most normal humans.
The War in Space 2 Slimes "Behold, for I am a great and expansive space opera!"
Warrior of the Lost World 3 Slimes He is old school, when super-intelligent motorcycles had x86 processors.
War of the Robots 1 Slime Lady Gaga's android army returns in this painfully long Italian space opera.
The Warrior and the Sorceress 2 Slimes David Carradine is a holy warrior in a land of naked women.
Watchers 2 Slimes Corey Haim battles government agents and a genetic monster.
Weasels Rip My Flesh Skull Somebody made a mutant weasel movie. I wish they hadn't.
Welcome to Planet Earth 3 Slimes Aliens take a vacation to our world and practice vigilante justice. Norm (from Cheers) is one of them!
The Werewolf of Washington 1 Slime Sweet shape-changing mother of political satire pain!
What Waits Below 2 Slimes Explorers encounter perils in deep caves, including a pack of deadly albinos.
Willie Dynamite 3 Slimes Gordon from "Sesame Street" is a stylish b***h-slapping pimp!
Wild, Wild Planet 3 Slimes Mutants with four arms, people dressed as butterflies, and flying cars. Thank goodness the 60's are over.
Wing Commander 1 Slime Video games rarely make good movies. Here is another prime example.
Winterbeast 1 Slime Wow, plaid...
The Wizard of Speed and Time 2 Slimes A stop-motion animator must use all of the powers at his disposal!
Wizards 4 Slimes After a nuclear war two wizards fight for control of the world.
The Wraith 2 Slimes A Chrysler revenant exacts revenge against a racing gang.
THE LETTER X
MOVIE NAMERATINGSYNOPSIS
The X from Outer Space 2 Slimes There is a good reason most monster films don't have a star which looks like Guilala.
Xanadu 1 Slime Olivia Newton John, roller skates, and glowing blue people.
THE LETTER Y
MOVIE NAMERATINGSYNOPSIS
Yor - The Hunter from the Future 3 Slimes A blonde caveman learns that he is the saviour of an advanced civilization.
THE LETTER Z
MOVIE NAMERATINGSYNOPSIS
ZAAT 2 Slimes Ahhhhh! Catfish monster!
Zardoz 3 Slimes Sean Connery, everlasting hippies, and a GIANT FLYING STONE HEAD.
Zarkorr! The Invader 1 Slime Mediocre postal worker battles giant monster to save humanity.
THE BADMOVIES.ORG "SLIME DROP" RATING SYSTEM:
The two main criteria are:
Green Dot A. How bad is this movie?
Green Dot B. How much fun is it to watch?
RatingAnd it means...
4 SlimesThe pinnacle of bad movies; this is a must see!
3 SlimesDefinitely worthy of a Saturday afternoon or a late night.
2 SlimesIt had redeeming qualities, just like getting the clap does.
1 SlimesA bad movie.
SkullThis is going to hurt.
3 September 2008: The rating system changed from a maximum of five slimes to a maximum of four slimes. All of the reviews were adjusted.

Remember: to be a "well rounded" bad movie viewer it is necessary to see the one or two slime movies - even a skull now and then. The Surgeon General would probably recommend that you not watch more than one skull movie per sitting. This recommendation is based on extensive research by myself. A friend of mine, by the name of Steve, developed a nervous tick from one such binge and the mention of "Johnny Mnemonic" sends him into convulsions.

(It is bad. I do not know about that bad, but maybe it just broke the horse's back.)
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FROM THE BADMOVIES.ORG ARCHIVES
ImageThe Giant Claw - Slime drop

Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.

Lesson Learned:
  • Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.

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